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1.)Post-Chavez, Venezuela continues to keep it crazy — Chavez may be gone, but the Bolivarian revolutionary lunacy goes on. TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein reports:
“The Venezuelan government announced Monday that it will open an inquiry into the conspiracy theory that the cancer that helped kill Hugo Chavez last week was implanted by his American imperialist enemies, but doctors say such a scenario is impossible…. But doctors say it’s actually impossible to covertly give someone cancer that would kill them in relatively short order, even if such ‘dark forces’ wanted to. ‘Pure insanity,’ Dr. Steven T. Rosen, director of the Robert H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center at Northwestern University, told Gawker when asked whether their was a poison that could suddenly induce cancer in a human. Doctors Vince T. Devita Jr. of Yale’s Cancer Center and Al Bensen of Northwestern University also replied to Gawker that they were not aware how such a covert action could be scientifically possible.”
Acting President of Venezuela Nicolas Maduro, a Chavez disciple, announced the investigation Monday. He is running to become the next president of Venezuela. If elected, he would surely be a disaster for the country.
2.) Ryan returns … with another budget — He’s actually been back front and center for some time, but he is never more in the spotlight than when he releases a new budget. TheDC’s Alex Pappas reports:
“House budget chairman Rep. Paul Ryan on Tuesday unveiled the GOP’s budget proposal that would slash $4.6 trillion in projected government spending over the next decade in order to balance the country’s budget by 2023. ‘We owe the country a balanced budget,’ the Republican congressman and 2012 vice presidential nominee said during a press conference at the Capitol on Tuesday. Ryan’s plan includes a combination of tax reform, reform of entitlements and repeal of President Obama’s health-care law.”
The budget has positives and negatives. It’s unrealistic, for instance, that Obamacare will be repealed. But year after year, Ryan puts together a budget and the House GOP passes it. That’s a lot more than can be for the Democrats in Congress.
3.) Coming to a bookstore near you — Well, if bookstores existed and these books were real. TheDC’s Jamie Weinstein makes up 9 explosive presidential biographies to be released this year, including “The Presidency of William Henry Harrison: 30 Days that Shaped America and Changed the World.” Also: “Camelot Before Camelot: What John F. Kennedy Learned From King Arthur.” And: “The Man, The Myth, The Muttonchops: The Life and Presidency of Chester A. Arthur.” Take a look at the rest. (Hint: This is a joke.)
4.)Is nothing sacred? — BREAKING: Your private information isn’t private on the Internet. TheDC’s Josh Peterson reports:
“The private financial information of several celebrities and politicians was made public on the Internet by Russian hackers Monday. The Social Security numbers, addresses, credit reports of first lady Michelle Obama, Attorney General Eric Holder, former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin were posted to a website bearing a suffix from the former Soviet Union — .su.”
5.) Tweet of Yesterday — Charles C. W. Cooke: Shorter CNN: “We have no idea who the next Pope will be, nor can we know. NEXT: We’ll have someone tell us that we know nothing from Rome.”
6.) Today in North Korean News — BREAKING: “Kim Jong Il’s Guidance for Development of DPRK’s Circus”
VIDEO: Billy Joel is pretty cool, invites college student to play “New York State of Mind” with him