Entertainment

Try not to dress like a strumpet or a slob at CPAC this year, ok?

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor

Do you or do you not want “style success” at this year’s annual Conservative Political Action Conference?

If your answer is yes, then have we found the resource for you!

A Washington, D.C. based Pinterest user has compiled a list of what to wear and what to sure as hell not wear if you plan on attending the largest gathering of conservatives outside of a University of Alabama football game.

User BlogBash created a fancy, pictorial chart showcasing the do’s and dont’s of center-right fashion.

If you are considering packing something you would wear to Wal-Mart, you DEFINITELY cannot wear it at CPAC, in case you were confused about that. Additionally, don’t even THINK about wearing something that you would wear out to get crunk on the weekends. (And if you own TOMS, what the hell are you doing at CPAC in the first place?)

So then what can you wear? The entire J. Crew and Vineyard Vines collections are apparently your only viable options.

Why does it really matter what you wear to CPAC, anyway? If you are even seriously asking that question then you need to reevaluate your life priorities because “success needs style,” obviously. You can’t just be any cretin off the street and expect to be taken at CPAC — the conference of all conferences.

These are examples of items of clothing that are best left at home, unless you are being paid to be at CPAC for a reason other than having a speaking engagement (wink, wink), or are trying to pull a Zoe Barnes (“House of Cards” reference, natch). Even your vintage Reagan/ Bush T-shirt simply will not do, although the sentiment is probably greatly appreciated.

In conclusion, as long as your closet is filled with items by Ms. Ann Taylor or the brothers Brooks — depending on your gender — you should be fine. If not, you are going to make a terrible impression and never get anywhere in life.

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