Dennis Rodman accidentally reveals North Korean state secrets

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor
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America’s Sweetheart™ Dennis Rodman is now BFF with North Korea’s dictator, but the two might not be LOLing over text messages after The Worm has revealed that Kim is a dad of secret (though apparently legitimate) children.

That information and other Kim tidbits came out during an interview with UK’s The Sun after his visit to North Korea.

Rodman claims all Kim wants to do is listen to American pop music from Michael Jackson and the Bee Gees and shoot some hoops. The flamboyant one-time Chicago Bulls forward swears Kim doesn’t want to bomb the crap out of his neighbors or engage in a war with the United States, even though Kim was overseeing live-fire missile testing this week.

To Rodman, Kim is a misunderstood figure who “is not one of these Saddam Hussein-type characters that wants to take over the world,” and that he really doesn’t want to kill anyone, despite the fact that a 30-year armistice between South Korea is about to end — perhaps signifying war.

However, Rodman insists that Kim is a pawn in the military state that his grandfather and father built.

“Listen, you have to remember that he is just a goddamn kid. He’s a cool guy who wears everyday, regular clothes and likes music and sports and stuff,” Rodman told the Sun. “His grandad built all this shit and then his dad built some more shit but he is a normal guy.”

In the view of the 2004 “Celebrity Mole” winner, all of America’s issues with the communist country could be solved with one phone call between Kim and President Obama, because basketball unites us all. “[Kim] loves basketball and so does President Obama, so they have that in common — and there is even more they could talk about if Obama would just pick up the phone and call him.

The former NBA great and current crazy person also let slip a heavily guarded secret: that Kim and his wife, Ri Sol-ju, have a daughter. The two reportedly wed in 2009 and have two children, but this has never been confirmed by state-run media.

“[Ri] kept talking about their beautiful baby daughter,” Rodman said, a point that suggests the Kims may not yet have a male heir to the throne.

Unofficial ambassador without portfolio Rodman also made a special trip to the Vatican last week during the papal conclave, but it is not yet clear how his presence there influenced the vote for Pope Francis I.

Rodman said that Kim is “cool as hell” and that he “can’t wait” to get back to North Korea, perhaps the first time anyone has said that sentence ever.

“I connected with Kim. He’s as cool as hell. He has invited me back to North Korea for a holiday in August for six days,” Rodman said. “I’m definitely going — I can’t wait. I’ll be staying in the royal palace.”

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