Satire

Organizing for Action: The secret emails revealed

Jamie Weinstein Senior Writer
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Organizing for Action, which replaced President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign Organizing for America, is a nonprofit group that advocates for the president’s agenda. So close is the organization to Obama that the president’s 2012 campaign manager serves as the organization’s chairman. Their website is BarackObama.com.

OFA is known for sending a never-ending stream of emails to people on its listserve asking for donations. In recent weeks, the emails have become increasingly desperate and confrontational. What follows are the four most recent emails sent to this writer — and presumably others. 

The emails are reprinted here for the first time, in their entirety, and without comment: 

From: Jon Carson, BarackObama.com

To: Jamie Weinstein 

Date: June 27, 2013

Subject: Are you fucking kidding me? 

Jamie —

I’ve sent you over 100 emails asking you to donate $5 to OFA but it appears that you have not yet contributed. Unless you have been in a coma — in which case, please excuse this email — you must be fucking kidding me.

Maybe you’re not aware what OFA has done, which frankly is hard to believe since the 100 previous emails I sent you have detailed our successes. But how much do we really even have to do to be worth $5? We elected the president — remember that?

Stop being a prick and donate now.

Jon Carson

Executive Director

Organizing for Action

From: Jon Carson, BarackObama.com

To: Jamie Weinstein 

Date: June 28, 2013

Subject: The President’s Kill List!

Jamie —

I’m working with the president to put together his drone kill list and I noticed that you still haven’t donated to OFA yet. Maybe now’s the time to act?

As you know, OFA is on the forefront helping to push the president’s agenda. I would hate for you to be killed by an air robot before you see us change America.

More to come soon, but in the meantime, please take a minute out of your busy day to give us $5. Your life is worth $5, right?

Talk later,

Jon Carson

Executive Director

Organizing for Action

From: Jon Carson, BarackObama.com

To: Jamie Weinstein 

Date: June 29, 2013

Subject: How much do you like your grandmother? 

Jamie —

So here we stand again. I’m looking over our donor list and you still haven’t given us $5. I literally threatened to have you killed in the last email and you still didn’t donate. Are you such a pathetic disgrace to society that you can’t find $5 to spare?

It’s time to grow up, Jamie. The president has personally told me he is ashamed of you.

But you can still make him proud by donating a five spot right now!

Jon Carson

Executive Director

Organizing for Action

From: Jon Carson, BarackObama.com

To: Jamie Weinstein 

Date: June 30, 2013

Subject: Outside your door with a bat

Jamie —

We’re here now. Open the door. Be sure to bring $5 dollars with you, you piece of shit.

Jon Carson

Executive Director

Organizing for Action

Follow Jamie on Twitter

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