The three college logos most likely to rape you

The Daily Caller can now identify the three savage college logos that you definitely don’t want to encounter in any dark alley without mace or, if possible, a firearm.

Two of them have been retired by the schools which once claimed them—Brooklyn College and the University of Kentucky. However, the University of Connecticut’s terrifying new husky dog logo is a daily reminder of sexual assault for at least one student.

UConn’s ferocious logo was unveiled just this April. It received mixed reviews, with many fans preferring the older, cuter incarnation of a husky dog.

One student called the new logo a pro-rape symbol. In an open letter to the school president, self-described feminist Carolyn Luby wrote that the redesigned team logo will intimidate women and empower rape culture. Two UConn athletes were alleged to have committed sexual assaults on the campus in the past year.

“The face of real life UConn athletics is certainly capable of frightening college women,” Luby wrote. (RELATED: College’s husky dog logo promotes rape, says student)

Meanwhile, about 120 miles roughly southwest, Karen L. Gould, the first female president of Brooklyn College, sucked $107,000 from some unacknowledged source to beget a new logo when she was initially hired in 2009.

Gould and others believed the old logo looked too much like a giant penis. The old logo was the silhouette of the City University of New York-affiliated school’s iconic La Guardia Hall clock tower. (RELATED: Brooklyn College spent $107,000 to replace logo president thought looked like a penis)

Back in 2009, one apparently phallus-averse education professor was an eager beaver for the new logo.

“Can you send me a copy of the new Brooklyn College logo?” requested associate professor Barbara Winslow in an email obtained by the New York Post. “We want to make a Women’s Studies banner, and want to use the not-so-phallic logo.”

The third scary logo comes courtesy of the University of Kentucky. It was retired in 1994 when students, apparently as a bit of joke, demanded that the school change its logo because the tongue arguably appeared to look exactly like a giant red penis.

Perhaps deciding they didn’t want the school’s Wildcat mascot to become a laughingstock, school officials took the demands seriously and opted for a small design change.

The tongue in the post-1994, redesigned logo was broader, thicker and basically more tongue-like, but somehow just as phallic.

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