North Korea: your next luxury vacation destination

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Like any rational human being, you probably have North Korea somewhere just below Afghanistan on your list of must-see vacation spots. If dictator Kim Jong-un has his way, though, your impressions about the impoverished hellhole will soon change.

The supreme leader has reportedly ordered the construction of a number of tourist attractions including a couple water parks, a swanky beach resort town and an ostensibly luxurious ski resort where the country’s top bureaucrats can play.

“Soldier-builders are pushing forward the construction” of the ski resort, reports the Korean Central News Agency KCNA), the country’s state-controlled English-language news agency.

The ski area will be located on Masik Pass in Kangwon Province, which borders South Korea. The highest peaks in the province reach approximately 4,400 feet, notes First Tracks, an online ski magazine. Snow cover occurs from November to March.

Plans for the resort include hotels and a heliport. A military airstrip nearby could be renovated for civilian use as well.

“Ten ski courses have been constructed,” boasts KCNA. “Those in charge of the hotel and service and lodging buildings are pooling their creative wisdom to build all buildings in such a way as to match natural environment and the appearance of a world-class ski resort.”

KCNA adds that “shock brigade members of Kangwon Province are dynamically pressing ahead with the work to radically change the appearance of the ski resort by improving streams and creating a large area of lawn with turf of new species.”

However, the North Korean regime has encountered serious problems trying to buy chairlifts.

Last month, citing United Nations sanctions, Switzerland prohibited its firms from selling chairlift equipment to the despotic, destitute regime. The irony is knee-deep here. As Reuters notes, Kim, who is about 30, was a boarding school student in Switzerland and likely frolicked in the Alps on school ski trips.

Austrian and Italian firms have also snubbed North Korea’s cash.

In addition to the ski resort, Kim’s regime is busy building and refurbishing other potential tourist attractions as well, reports The Telegraph.

The young tyrant has called for a massive remodeling of a 150,000-seat stadium “into an all-event stadium” which will “glorify the leadership exploits of the generalissimos down through generations,” trumpets KCNA. There will be new artificial turf and new lighting, among other totally necessary improvements.

Kim wants to turn the drab industrial port of Wonsan into a hopping beach resort destination, too.

He also recently scolded workers at the Mangyongdae Funfair, a dilapidated and depressingly sad little amusement part in Pyongyang, for showing “below-zero spirit” and allowing weeds to grow through pavement cracks.

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