Government Dumps Money On Fruity Superhero

Emma Colton Deputy Editor
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Florida decided to dump $1 million of government money so Marvel Comics can re-image a superhero that motivates kids to drink more orange juice.

According to The Ledger, the Florida Department of Citrus is in the final stages of negotiations with Marvel Worldwide Inc. to create a tangy orange superhero, called Captain Citrus, with abs and enthusiasm to get pre-teens and teens to gulp more OJ.

The deal is slated to cost upwards of $1 million, which will fund Marvel’s plans to print one million copies of Captain Citrus vanquishing crime while promoting Vitamin C intake. The report states that the comics will be free to children, and handed out at schools and camps.

“I think young kids are not as exposed to drinking orange juice as we were,” Commissioner Ned Hancock said about the reasons for working with Marvel. “We knew we had to change, and this is a good start.”

Captain Citrus has already been a prominent Florida superhero, but the citrus folks of the Sunshine State want to transform the currently androgynous and round superhero into a buff male champion of the orange juice industry — all funded by the government agency devoted to citrus.

Marvel, a comic book company that prides itself of iconic American heroes like Captain America and The Hulk, will create the makeover of the orange superhero and unveil him this coming fall.