DC Trawler

Ebola Nurse Demands That You Stop Calling Her ‘Ebola Nurse’

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Kaci Hickox is not the Ebola Nurse, says Ebola Nurse Kaci Hickox. She is now insisting that the nickname must observe a voluntary quarantine, or else she will keep complaining about it.

Writing in (of course) The Guardian, Hickox seethes:

I never had Ebola. I never had symptoms of Ebola. I tested negative for Ebola the first night I stayed in New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s private prison in Newark. I am now past the incubation period – meaning that I will not develop symptoms of Ebola.

I never had Ebola, so please stop calling me “the Ebola Nurse” – now!

Okay, okay, Ebola Nurse, we’ll stop calling you Ebola Nurse.

Here are a few alternative names for the Ebola Nurse, now that she is no longer the Ebola Nurse:

  • Ebola Lady
  • Miss E. Bola
  • The Nurse Formerly Known As Ebola Nurse
  • Kaci Bolanurse
  • Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola Ebola

Any one of those will be fine. Just knock it off with the “Ebola Nurse” crap.

Now, you will do as you’re told by the woman who won’t do as she’s told. Or else.