DC Trawler

Daily Beast’s Michael Tomasky To Southerners: Failing To Reelect A White Politician To A Fourth Term Is Racist

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Michael Tomasky is not taking Mary Landrieu’s humiliating electoral loss very well. He’s as gracious in defeat as he was magnanimous in victory just two years ago. Which is to say, not in the least.


I don’t remember a much sadder sight in domestic politics in my lifetime than that of Mary Landrieu schlumpfing around these last few weeks trying to save a Senate seat that was obviously lost. It was like witnessing the last two weeks of the life of a blind and toothless dog you knew the vet was just itching to destroy. I know that sounds mean about her, but I don’t intend it that way. She did what she could and had, as far as I know, an honorable career. I do, however, intend it to sound mean about the reactionary, prejudice-infested place she comes from. A toothless dog is a figure of sympathy. A vet who takes pleasure in gassing it is not.

Does this mean he has accepted her loss?

It does not.

And that is what Louisiana, and almost the entire South, has become. The victims of the particular form of euthanasia it enforces with such glee are tolerance, compassion, civic decency, trans-racial community, the crucial secular values on which this country was founded… I could keep this list going. But I think you get the idea. Practically the whole region has rejected nearly everything that’s good about this country and has become just one big nuclear waste site of choleric, and extremely racialized, resentment. A fact made even sadder because on the whole they’re such nice people! (I truly mean that.)

You’re nice and all, you disgusting crackers. Truly you are. It’s just too bad you’re such a bunch of racists. Which you’ve proven by giving Mary Landrieu the boot. QED.

With Landrieu’s departure, the Democrats will have no more senators from the Deep South, and I say good. Forget about it. Forget about the whole fetid place. Write it off. Let the GOP have it and run it and turn it into Free-Market Jesus Paradise. The Democrats don’t need it anyway.

That’s right, everybody south of the Mason-Dixon: Michael Tomasky is done with you. You had your chance, and now you don’t get to be his friend anymore. Too bad, so sad.

Tomasky goes on and on and on and on like this, if you didn’t already get the idea. He’s dumping you, not the other way around.

You’ll be back, you dumb hillbillies. You’ll start to want free stuff, and you’ll start feeling like you’ve got too much liberty, and you’ll get tired of living your own lives, and you’ll come running back into the loving arms of the Democrats.

Maybe Tomasky will allow it. Maybe he won’t. That’s entirely up to you, hayseeds. You’d best start groveling for his forgiveness now.

And now a suggestion for Michael Tomasky 2014, from Michael Tomasky 2012:

It’d be nice to hear sincere, self-critical reflections from you instead of the usual bombast. America rejects you, rejects your view of Obama, rejects your policies. Are you ready to grow up now and have real conversations about the substance of things?

Whenever you’re ready, Mike.

Tags : treacher
Jim Treacher