DC Trawler

Smoking Is Hazardous To Your Health, Especially When Somebody Puts It Out In Your Eye

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Australians have always prided themselves on doing things a little differently: Cooking shrimp over burning Barbie dolls. Riding kangaroos to work. Using people’s faces as ashtrays.

Just kidding. These days they only ride kangaroos for fun. C’mon, it’s 2015!

9NEWS, Brisbane:

A woman visiting court to witness murder charges against another woman has been arrested after allegedly stubbing a lit cigarette into a 9NEWS reporter’s face.

The 23-year-old woman pushed a baby stroller and blew smoke at journalists before allegedly stubbing the cigarette into the face of reporter Alex Bernhardt outside Caboolture Magistrates Court.

I’m glad she’s alroight. Er, alright.

Look, I wouldn’t be too happy either if I lived in a place called Caboolture. And nobody likes reporters pestering them. But that’s no reason for a sheila to stub out her durrie in some other gal’s mud pies. Quit lairing it up, ya bloody yobbo!

(I have no idea what any of that means either. Just humor them.)