Environmental Scientists Rank Top 10 Sweatiest American Cities

Simon Jønler Contributor
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Environmental science has spread from academia to the public, from global scale to local concern, and now recently to a most intimate worry.

The people of Honeywell Fans have conspired with scientists at the consulting agency Environmental Health & Engineering (EH&E), to embark on the thankless task of ranking the ten sweatiest cities in the US. They rank as follows:

  1. Tampa, Fla.
  2. Miami, Fla.
  3. Houston, Texas
  4. San Diego, Calif.
  5. Orlando, Fla.
  6. Washington, D.C.
  7. Raleigh, N.C.
  8. Los Angeles, Calif.
  9. Dallas, Texas
  10. Charlotte, N.C.

The rankings are based on data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association’s National Climatic Data Center and the U.S. Census Bureau, which makes the entire enterprise seem almost respectable.

Florida clearly dominates the list, yet DC checks in at an estimable 6th place as the most (geographically) Northern city on the list. The study does not reveal whether or not this is due to its swampy topography or if it’s merely the rank bi-product of bureaucracy. And people say government doesn’t work.

In ranking the cities of most prodigious perspiration, Honeywell Fans’ press release shared a few insights from EH&E’s own Dr. Ted Myatt. Dr. Myatt, who is, of course, the Director of Research Integrity at the University of Rhode Island, shared the following methodological considerations:

“When creating the first-ever sweatiest cities ranking with this new set of criteria, we looked at a range of environmental factors including average temperature and humidity levels during summer months, population and housing density, and average wind speed, which has an evaporative cooling effect,”

Dr. Ted Myatt, ScD of Environmental Health & Engineering further adds that;

“Geographic location has a major influence on temperatures, but so does infrastructure like residential buildings or heavy industry, which can trap heat or contribute to heat output. It’s no wonder why so many songs are written about hot times and summer in the city.”

Indeed, it is no wonder that so many songs are written about dank metropolis, yet conspicuously  little artistic expression is dedicated to just how much sweat is produced from this state of affairs.

The findings of the study will be ventilated by Honeywell Fans in concurrence with the release of their new ‘HoneywellTurbo® on the Go! Portable Folding Fan’ – a handy, mobile, electric fan you can carry anywhere without drawing the least attention to your moisture.