Here’s what you really need to know as you pack up your outfits and electronics, and head off to school.
Study hard. Get a world-class education. Explore all of your interests. Make friends of every type. And if you know that marriage and motherhood are essential to your life plan for happiness … find yourself a husband before you graduate!
No, I’m not kidding. These are your prime dating years and this is the best opportunity you will ever have to meet age-appropriate, single, like-minded men in an organic setting — in class, over a meal, walking on campus, playing in the marching band, etc. Don’t squander these precious years, or waste them on men who aren’t worthy of you.
While we’re talking… please allow me to correct some of your misconceptions.
You’re probably thinking… but I’m so young! I’m not sure that I want to be married or have children. Really? Or, has it just become so politically incorrect to say that you aspire to these traditional roles that you’re unwilling to admit that they are what you really want? Well, you can look fashionably progressive, or you can actually start putting in place the components that will define your life’s happiness. Once you’re no longer in an academic setting, meeting people (especially marriageable men) is at best, challenging.
College is a springboard for your future. It should equip you with the tools and connections to start you on your path as an independent adult. And it is the very best place for educated young women to meet appropriate life partners and form meaningful relationships. If you eventually want a husband, the pickings will never be better than they are while you’re at school.
You’re probably thinking… I’ll take the first ten years after college to build my career, and then look for a husband? Think again. If you do, you’ll be in your thirties, and the men that you’ll be most interested in dating will be looking at women ten years younger than you. You’ll never be more beautiful or more attractive to men than while you are a student. You won’t be able to compete with college girls when you’re in your thirties, just like the thirty-somethings can’t compete with you in your early twenties — for all of the obvious reasons, but the most important of which is ten extra years of female fertility for men in their thirties who are finally ready to settle down and have a family. Want confirmation of this? Ask your maiden aunt. She can tell you… right after she feeds her cats.
You’re probably thinking… now that I’m living away from home, there’s no harm in engaging in casual sex and hook ups? Wrong. Act like the lady you are. A bad reputation stays with you. Girls who get around more than the drum on a clothes dryer are sought after for an evening’s enjoyment, but the men that you respect and will want for keeps, want women that they can respect. There is nothing empowering about casual sex. It’s bad for your head, your heart, your soul, and your body. Hold out for something better, because you deserve it! You want to know what is empowering? Being in a committed relationship with a wonderful man who adores and respects you.
You’re probably thinking… I’m a student and can live in worn jeans and torn t-shirts. Nope. Plan to always look your best. You never know who you’ll run into in class, at lunch, or in the library. Dress like a lady. Look feminine. Wear flattering clothes of pretty colors. You’ll have many years to drape yourself in black when you’re middle aged. Sloppy sweats are fine for a night studying in your room with your girlfriends, but don’t leave your dorm unless you look good enough that you’d be happy to run into your ex-boyfriend… or your future husband.
You’re probably thinking… I can do better for myself than these geeky guys on campus. Oh yeah? Maybe you can, but maybe not. Some of the men you meet in college may not look like the kind you want, but try to imagine them in better clothes, with better haircuts, clean shaven and as rising superstars in their chosen career. Try to see past the scruffy, grungy college guy he is today — to the man he will someday be. Keep an open mind, and be nice! Nasty, snarky and condescending attitudes are all unbecoming. What you put out comes back to you. Remember, karma is a bitch — especially if you are one.
You’re probably thinking… I’m a grown woman and can drink all I want. You better not. It’s critically important to remember that keeping yourself safe is all on you . College is a time of independence and experimentation, and you should enjoy yourself. But drinking and drug use aren’t necessary components of that enjoyment. If you’re going to indulge, don’t exceed the point at which you can extricate yourself from a situation heading in direction that you don’t want. If you don’t know your limit, don’t drink at all.
And if someday being a wife and mother is important to you, remember that you’ll never have a greater concentration of men to choose from as you do as a student. You won’t fully realize this until long after you’ve graduated, but college is a unique experience and the best place to meet your life partner. Use these years to your very best advantage.