By Jorge Amselle, Author Gun Digest’s Shooter’s Guide to Concealed Carry
Editor’s Note: A satirical look at what President Obama really thinks about guns.
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President Obama speaking to Democratic Party insiders and donors.
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“You folks don’t need me to tell you that we have a problem with guns in this country. And by that I mean not just too many guns but too many people with guns and especially the wrong people with guns. Now, my administration has tried everything we can think of to address this epidemic and get guns out of the hands of Americans. However, we are facing a Republican Congress deep inside the pocket of the National Rifle Association, which cares much more about gun manufacturers and their profits than they do about the welfare of the general public.
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“We know that if there were fewer guns in this country, especially assault rifles, we would not have these mass shooting that seem to be occurring on a regular and increasing basis. We would not have criminals killing each other in the streets. But rather than face the facts the NRA twists these events around to scare their supporters into buying even more guns. I wasn’t kidding when I said that the problems we face are the result of people who cling to their God and their guns. In fact, the culture of the gun has become almost a religion for these folks.
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“We know that there are good states with reasonable gun controls laws that are essentially nullified when their criminals go to other states to acquire these weapons of death. This is why we need nationwide reasonable gun control, like banning all semi-automatic firearms, banning all handguns, mandating that guns be kept unloaded and under lock and key, minimum and maximum age limits for possession and use of any firearm. We also need to ban armor piercing and dum-dum bullets that are only designed to kill more efficiently.
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“Mandatory background checks on every gun sale and transfer, even a temporary loan, have to be implemented nationwide for all guns and in every case, no exceptions. But background checks are not enough. No American should be trusted with such a deadly device without having to undergo extensive firearms training as well as be able to pass a psychological and medical evaluation. This would go hand in hand with licensing and registration of all guns and gun owners of course which would be subject to renewal every five years.
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“We will also mandate smart gun technology so that only the registered and licensed owner of a gun can fire it and only at designated shooting areas. This technology would render all guns inoperable outside of predetermined, inspected, monitored and licensed shooting ranges and hunting facilities and only during specific hours and days of the year. The Justice Department would have the authority and power to remotely shut down firearms access in any suspect facility as well. Of course all of this would be revenue neutral in keeping with our fiscal responsibility and paid for entirely with higher taxes on all guns and ammunition.
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“Finally, we must also change the culture of the gun by attacking it head on. We must ban all firearms and gun accessory advertising like we have largely done for tobacco and alcohol. All replica and toy guns must be outlawed outright for their effect on promoting militarism and violence. And we must hold gun manufacturers personally liable every time someone uses their product to hurt themselves or another person. We must also go after the television and film industry, as well as video games, for glamorizing guns with a government review board that awards subsidies or levies fines based on the content of a production and how it portrays guns.
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“Only in this matter, with a concerted effort across all fronts can we ever hope to defeat the gun culture in this country and make us all safe from violence.”
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Jorge Amselle is a certified firearms instructor, writer and author of the Gun Digest Shooter’s Guide to Concealed Carry. He covers all aspects of the industry from military and law enforcement firearms and training to the shooting sports. His blog is at www.gunsntacos.com.