Well, we had a pretty good run, Planet Earth. The invention of fire, the moon landing, American Ninja Warrior… We’ve done pretty well for ourselves. Until today, that is, with the news that the UK has voted to leave the European Union. This is an absolute disaster. It’s the worst thing that has ever happened, anywhere. It is a victory for evil, and it may very well bring about the end of the world. Here’s why.
Hang in there, Britain. Take it from us: Declaring your independence isn’t much fun at first, but it gets better.