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We Almost Had A Stealth Bomber Named ‘MyLveUBombTime’

U.S. Air Force/Handout via Reuters

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Thomas Phippen Associate Editor
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The Air Force held an online naming contest for a stealth bomber, and even though it was only open to Air Force personnel and their families, the internet did what it always does.

The Air Force finally chose to name the B-21 stealth bomber the Raider, but thanks to a Freedom of Information Request by War Is Boring, we can see all names submitted.

Air Force selected the best 15 submissions out of the 4,600 submissions received in May. The top choices were Boomerang, Ghost, Horizon, LeMay, Liberator II, Mitchell II, Night Fury, Phoenix, Raider, Shadow Fortress, Stingray, Valkyrie, Victory, Wraith and Zeus II, Air Force public affairs specialist Ann Stefanek told War Is Boring.

Air Force selected Raider after the famous WWII “Doolittle raids” on Japan after the Pearl Harbor attacks, the first bombing offensive launched from an aircraft carrier. Lt. Col. Richard E. Cole, the 101-year-old survivor of those raids announced the bomber’s new name earlier this week at the Air Force’s annual Air, Space and Cyber conference. (RELATED: Air Force Names New Stealth Bomber After Heroic WWII Mission)

Let’s get the obligatory internet trolling out of the way: variations on Bomber McBomberface, Bomber Mcbomberton, Boomy McBoomface, Explody McBombface, Nukey McMeltface and Planey McPlaneface were obvious passes.

Then there’s the posts that are just supposed to be funny, like Baconator, Badasswhoopass, Lurking Sasquatch, Princess Sparkle Pony, MAC DADDY and “XXXX_xxx_DANK_AMERICAN_BOMBER_420_xxx_XXX.”

Plenty of suggestions reference pop culture, like ZORRO, BLADERUNNER, Captain America, and Mjolnir the name of Thor’s hammer in Norse mythology (and Marvel’s Avengers). The color and shape of the artist’s rendering of the plane inspired plenty of bat-themed and Batman-themed submissions, like Batmo-plane, Batplane and Bat Wing.

Only a few suggestions were on the offensive side, like MyLveUBombTime and Quantum Penetrator.

There were dozens of suggestions relating to freedom like Freedom Eagle, Freedom Enforcer, Freedom Raptor, Freedom Shadow and Freedom Wing.

Some referenced the political fights about the military expenditures and the bomber’s cost, like Our National Debt, YouThinkWeWastedMoneyOnTheF35,hahahahahaha!!, you won’t believe how much this cost you in taxes and Hole In The Sky To Throw Money Into.

One name suggestion, “Do We Really Have The Funding For This” is an honest question, since the Air Force is reluctant to release any details about the jet’s development, including the total cost of the project. Republican Sen. John McCain finally pushed to force the Air Force to reveal that each B-21 costs around $556 million this summer, and estimated that the total program will cost around $80 billion. The Government Accountability Office plans to release a declassified report with some contract details later this month, according to Bloomberg News.

While we will probably never have a plane named Chuck Norris or Kenny Loggins, as some one in the Air Force suggested, maybe “triangle thingy” and “blacky black bomber thingy” can become the unofficial name of the B-21.

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