The Mirror

ENDORSED! The Detroit News Is High On Gary Johnson


Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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Gary Johnson may be having a shitty day after his third dingbat campaign moment during Wednesday night’s presidential forum on MSNBC. But things are looking up as he has inexplicably earned the endorsement of The Detroit News, a paper that has backed the Republican candidate for the past 143 years.

Earned may really be overstating the situation.

“Hardball” host Chris Matthews exposed Johnson’s fried brain when he asked him to name any foreign leader in the entire world that he liked. Johnson couldn’t name one. As Matthews badgered him in disbelief, Johnson froze like a tortured animal in the middle of the road and even admitted that he was having an “Aleppo moment.”

Johnson’s original Aleppo moment happened a few weeks back on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” when regular guest Mike Barnicle asked the presidential candidate about the war torn city in Syria. Johnson now infamously replied, “And what is Aleppo?”

He proceeded to bizarrely stick his tongue out at MSNBC campaign reporter Kasie Hunt during what was supposed to be a serious interview.

“We’re here to talk about a presidential endorsement which appears in today’s paper,” said Nolan Finley, editorial page editor of The Detroit News. “It marks a rather significant departure for the Detroit News.”

They announced the news in a story and a video.

“This is the first time since our founding that we’ve endorsed a candidate other than the Republican,” continued Finley. “This year we have decided to give our endorsement to Gary Johnson.”

In a stunning statement, Finely declared, “We have put a lot of thought into it. We decided that Gary Johnson best reflected the values of this newspaper.”

“It was really our only endorsement option,” said Ingrid Jacques, the paper’s deputy editorial page editor.


“It’s not something we took lightly,” said Finley. “We put a lot of thought into this.”

To their credit, their reasoning boiled down to the other candidates and not any real love of Johnson.

“In a normal election year we might not have looked at the Libertarian,” said Finley. “But we found the candidates from the major parties so distasteful.”

The Mirror requested a comment from Ingrid Jacques.

Not sure what these two are smoking, but it must be out of this world.

UPDATE: Asked if this was a matter of “bad timing” Ingrid Jacques wrote in to The Mirror, “Yes, it was bad timing. We are very comfortable with our endorsement of Gary Johnson. It was based on our own extensive interview with the candidate who demonstrated a deep grasp of the issues, including foreign affairs.”