DC Trawler

If Punching Kangaroos Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right

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Animals are dumb. I hate all of them except dogs. (And I could be swayed on that one, if Obama is willing to share some good recipes.) Humans run this planet, and animals get to live here only because we allow it. I have no problem with anybody showing a filthy lion or gorilla or panda who’s boss. If you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Well, not literally. I don’t like you either, bulls.

That goes double for those weird, creepy Australian animals that don’t live anywhere else. What, they think they’re better than us because they carry their young in pouches, or can only digest the leaves of a certain type of tree, or whatever stupid thing makes them “special”? Step off, you pathetic vermin.

And if you put your disgusting paws on one of the only good animals, you deserve whatever you get!

CNN’s ever-delightful Jeanne Moos reports:

Yeah, you better hop away…

The guy who said “Poor kangaroo!” probably owns cats. Lots of them.

The kangaroo-punching hero is a zookeeper in New South Wales named Greig Tonkins, and he might be in trouble now. For saving his dog’s life. Some animals are more equal than others, right?

Hats off to Greig Tonkins. He did the right thing. Here’s the only “Kangaroo” I’ve ever liked:

On second thought, never mind. Punch that one too!