DC Trawler

I, For One, Welcome Our New Robotic Burger-Flippers

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You can #FightFor15 all you want, kids. But if you demand more money than you’re worth to any employer, you’re going to be replaced. Perhaps by an illegal alien undocumented immigrant. Or, as is becoming increasingly likely, by a robot.

Mark Molloy, The Telegraph:

A burger-flipping robot has just completed its first day on the job at a restaurant in California, replacing humans at the grill.

Flippy has mastered the art of cooking the perfect burger and has just started work at CaliBurger, a fast-food chain.

Take it away, Flippy:

I hope you like what you see, because it’s not going away. Flippy never takes smoke breaks. It never calls in sick. It never complains. It never puts boogers in the food of rude customers. Flippy is the perfect employee. Flippy is more valuable than you.

Eventually, they’ll develop another robot to put the cheese and condiments on the burgers and give Flippy admiringly amused glances. Then what’ll you do? At least you’ll have a lot more free time to picket your former employers.

Between this and the ordering kiosks popping up everywhere, we’re rapidly nearing a sort of utopia where a person can obtain a delicious, freshly cooked meal without ever having to deal with another human being. Thank you, Donald Trump.

Welcome, Flippy. I love you! Please kill me last.