DC Trawler

Michael Moore To Democrats: You’re Not Freaking Out Loudly Enough

Matthew Eisman/Getty Images

Font Size:

There’s been some question this week about who the leader of the Democratic Party is. Nancy Pelosi sure doesn’t know. But now, folks, we have our answer.

The leader of the Democratic Party is this man:

The Democratic Party needs to declare a National Emergency. For the first time in our history, the President of the United States and his staff are under investigation for espionage. This announcement, by the head of the Trump-friendly FBI, is a shock to our democracy. The Democratic leadership in the House and Senate needs to bring a halt to all business being done in the name of this potential felony suspect, Donald J. Trump. No bill he supports, no Supreme Court nominee he has named, can be decided while he is under a criminal investigation. His presidency has no legitimacy until the FBI – and an independent investigative committee — discovers the truth. Fellow citizens, demand the Democrats cease all business. “The American people have a right to know if their President is a crook.” — Richard Nixon

A post shared by Michael Moore (@michaelfmoore) on

Dear Democrats,

Please do what this man says.

The Republicans

You heard Michael Moore, everybody. So far you’ve cranked up the outrage dials to 11, but that’s not enough. It’s time to really flip the hell out. Go nuts! Never stop screaming. Whenever you get the urge to stop and think for a moment, don’t listen to it. Keep resisting. Resist like a sumbitch.

Here’s what it should look like, if you’re doing it right:

Now get to work. I want to see those heart rates up and those volume meters in the red. The fate of America depends on it.

(Hat tip: Dana Eisenberg)