These Feminist Tips On How To Be A Better Man Are Hilarious
Hey, men — are you tired of carrying all this masculine guilt around with you? Is it weighing you down to know that you can’t do more to advance the feminist agenda?
Well, let not your heart be troubled. Because Helen Rosner, editor in chief for Caftan Magazine and maniacal feminist at large, has come out with 20 things you can do right now to be less of a pig.
The piece is titled “20 Things Men Can Do RTFN to Support Women, Beyond Just Literally Ceasing to Sexually Harass Us.” (RTFN means ‘right the freak now,’ politely). It’s so nice that she would censor her language for a mixed audience like us.
Anyways, she details how one of her guy friends hit her up recently asking how he can help the #MeToo movement.
For those of you who don’t know, #MeToo has been trending on Twitter this week for girls to share their stories of abuse and oppression. See:
Watch a young girl hide her beautiful body under loose pants and long shirts and tell me that this isnt a problem
— Alina (@Alina_Midzic) October 18, 2017
Rosner’s well-intentioned friend asked her what he could do to help the movement. She says, “This is a good dude, as far as I know. (Here we are, now, having to say ‘as far as I know’ about our good dude friends). … I replied to him that I’m glad he’s having these realizations, but that he should be talking about these feelings to other men, not looking for affirmation or absolution or support from women.”
Lovely that members of Rosner’s school of thought view all men as criminals who are guilty until proven innocent.
And her response is pretty counterintuitive, too. She says men shouldn’t seek women’s advice but goes on to give exactly that.
So without further ado, here are some of her most notable suggestions for men to become better feminists.
- “Overcome you transphobia.” Right outta the gate! There it is! Last time I checked not all women were transgender. But this is 2017 and down is up and black is white. So maybe we are all transgender.
- “Be pro-choice and vocal in support of reproductive rights. (And generous, give to the National Network of Abortion Funds).” Apparently men are no longer entitled to their own pro-life/pro-choice opinions.
- “Whenever you are in a group composed of only men (whether it’s social, work, church, or whatever) ask yourself why there are no women present. Then ask out loud why. Force an honest answer.” Hahahahahahahahahahaha
- “Ask yourself what things you don’t do, for whatever reason, that you also think of as something women tend to do. (Sew? Send birthday cards? Care about skincare?)” First of all, nobody sews anymore. And I know plenty of women who could give a damn about skin care. How ignorant to gender this.
- “Pay for your porn. In particular, seek out (and pay for) porn that’s made by women, queer people, and people of color, and that’s produced ethically.” I’m not gonna say much about this for fear of getting into some troubled waters but nonetheless included it, so do with this what you may.
- “Unpack the real meaning behind phrases like ‘SJW’ and ‘feminazi.’ Believe people when they say they’re in pain.” Does this person look like she’s in pain or just crazed?
So next time you feel particularly guilty about your alleged male privilege, just refer back to these simple pointers and you’ll be good to go.