The Politicization Of Pizza Is The Most 2017 Thing To Happen Yet

[Shutterstock - puhhha]

Jena Greene Reporter
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In case you didn’t know by now, the pizza industry is full of a bunch of savages.

Yesterday, Papa Johns made waves after its CEO blamed the recent NFL Anthem protests for their dip in sales.

“We are totally disappointed that the NFL and its leadership did not resolve the ongoing situation to the satisfaction of all parties long ago,” Papa Johns CEO John Schnatter said.

And if he thought these comments were gonna slip away into the dark of the night, never to be seen again, he thought wrong. Because this is 2017. And when you combine America’s two favorite things (pizza and fighting over politics) it becomes a perfect internet storm.

Many competing pizza companies did not take kindly to such allegations. Pizza Hut’s CEO was the first to enter the ring.

“We’re not seeing impact on any of that on our business,” he said.

And plenty of people rallied around him. Some voiced their affinity for Pizza Hut while others blamed Papa Johns for blanket racism.

DiGiorno pizza decided to get right down on the ground with their followers and tweeted some pretty shady things about their competitor.

They also changed their Twitter bio to satirize Papa John’s motto: “Better pizza, better sales. It’s DiGiorno.”

Some pointed out that divisive NFL figures like Jerry Johns are affiliated with Papa Johns, which nobody really seemed to care about.

Just kidding they melted down even more.

A very slim minority also identified the short lived attention span of internet meltdowns, having very little to say about the politicization of pizza.

But since I’m not usually one to get involved in this sort of petty nonsense, I’m gonna sit this one out.

Just kidding. Happy 2017 Pizza Hut!!!!!!!!!