MA School Eliminates ‘Freshman’ In To Be More Gender Inclusive

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Jena Greene Reporter
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A school in Massachusetts has decided to stop using the word “freshman” in their day-to-day vernacular, effective immediately.

According to their newly updated student handbook, “For the purpose of class meetings and activities, including the class dues, students will be considered first years, sophomores, juniors, and seniors.”

The decision comes as a part of Easthampton High School’s push to be more gender inclusive. And while this isn’t the first time a school has done this, this is notable as Easthampton is a public school system.

In an email this week, School Committee Policy Subcommittee Chairwoman Marissa Carrere said, “the change to gender neutral language was a simple, sensible way to foster a more inclusive and equitable environment, and was in concert with the many transformations underway at our district.”

First off, let me just go on record by saying a School Committee Policy Subcommittee Chairperson sounds like a made up job. Like your only day-to-day task would be taking away the very few fun things in school, like having chocolate milk at lunch and being able to play tackle football in gym class. You’re basically the adult version of a hall monitor. Yuck.

Secondly, this change is not simple and sensible. Don’t even start with that nonsense, Marissa. Stop trying to pretend like this change isn’t the stupidest decision on earth. It’s not like you decided to tweak PTA meetings or you’re introducing a theater program. Because nobody would care about that stuff. But completely outlawing a word from the public school system? That’s wading into some deep, murky waters.

Now as you might have guessed, this oppressive policy was introduced by the school’s GSA, otherwise known as the Gender-Sexuality Alliance. It’s intended to make female freshman feel more comfortable and included which is in itself flawed logic since no freshman ever feels 100% comfortable. Little tip for everyone out there. Freshman rule numero uno is to keep your head on a swivel at all times. Back in my day, freshman got sheet cakes and chairs thrown at them just for being freshman. You think a little word is gonna protect them from that? Absolutely not.

Besides, the Easthampton school system has far greater issues to worry about. Earlier this year, a Massachusetts Attorney General probe revealed that the high school has a pretty problematic racial disparity on their hands. According to the report, minority students are issued far harsher punishments than their white counterparts for similar misbehaviors.

Now I’m not an expert and I’ve been out of high school for a while, but it looks like the Easthampton school system might be a little too woke for its own good.

Jena Greene