AULD LANG SYNE: Ron Hart Looks Back At 2017
1. President Trump tweeted that our criminal justice system is a “joke.” Maybe so. Retribution prosecutions abound. A man got in trouble with the law for offering a woman food in exchange for sex; he might be charged with four counts of Tinder dating.
2. Washington elites went after the president on manufactured Russian collusion charges in order to damage him. Like I said in June, Democrats need to be careful; when you go after a president, you might not get the one you intended. The most popular Christmas song in D.C. this year was “It’s Beginning to Look A lot like Nixon.”
3. The NFL continued to decline. Sexual misconduct allegations struck about 44 players, including Jameis Winston, Ben Roethlisberger and Warren Moon. I guess when you are a quarterback used to running the triple option, just one marriage at a time becomes difficult.
4. I disagreed when Trump tore up one of the few achievements of the Obama administration: opening up Cuba. I visited Cuba last year. It was just like South Florida — before all the Cubans moved there.
5. The Trump Russian collusion witch hunt has ruined the lives of two men on unrelated procedural charges. Mike Flynn, an Obama era holdover, had to plead guilty so he would not lose his home to pay his mounting legal bills. There are four things that always tell the truth: people’s personal emails they didn’t expect ever to be public, a drunk, a child, and skinny jeans.
6. Bob Corker had a dust-up with Trump and said, “Someone apparently missed their shift at the White House adult daycare center,” which was classic. He was incorrect, though, when he presumed there is actually someone in charge at the White House adult daycare.
7. Powerful men were accused of sexual misconduct (now defined as anything from asking for a woman’s phone number to assault) in 2017, even 85-year-old Larry King. He denied the accusations and was referred to a sex therapist, who then referred him to a paleontologist.
8. The U.S. Women’s Open was held at Trump National Golf Club and had good ratings. Trump was able to gin up interest in women’s golf by adding a swimsuit competition to the golf.
9. It was clear that the corrupt “deep state” is alive and well in the halls of agency leadership in D.C. The FBI and Department of Justice set their credibility back years with biased and corrupt prosecutions of political enemies. They sold the Russian collusion story like they were Jehovah’s Witnesses. There were two ways your pants were on fire in 2017: If you were a federal agency head testifying to Congress or if you had a Samsung cell phone in your pocket.
10. FBI credibility might be hard to regain. Drama queen Jim Comey did a lot of damage. But to be fair, it was a tough task to fill the shoes of J. Edgar Hoover, especially since they were high heels.
11. European countries that welcomed unchecked immigration endured perpetual Islamic terrorist attacks from within. Norway and Sweden are on edge. Some furniture collapsed in a Swedish building, sparking terrorist fears. Authorities blamed it on Al-Ikea.
12. The stock market hit more than 60 new highs in 2017, with defense stocks and Boeing leading the way. We made deals to sell to Lebanon weapons that can shoot down missiles we sold to Israel. Investing in grudges has always been a great business model.
13. Trump continued to be assaulted by self-righteous Hollywood types. I fully expect more at the Academy Awards, where they might replace the Oscar with a statuette of John Wilkes Booth. Lincoln would have retired with a full pension =after two terms had he not angered an actor.
14. Tensions with Kim Jong-un rose and then fell. Details are scarce, but Jong-un remains mad at the United States and a bit embarrassed. In 2016 he hosted six state dinners for Dennis Rodman thinking he was Obama. Now, with Trump and Kim Jong-un, we have two unpredictable, chubby leaders with bad haircuts. They just might not attack each other out of professional courtesy. The test will be when Americans are soon in South Korea for the Winter Olympics, which might get re-named the Nuclear Winter Olympics.
15. Poorly educated leftist millennials don’t seem to grasp the reality of a nuclear North Korea. If a nuclear attack happened in California, kids there would “totally” be taking selfies with mushroom clouds behind them.
16. Under Obamacare, socialized medicine experienced setbacks in 2017 from its own fallibilities and also from GOP legislation. The only way to get free drugs now has not changed: Move to Canada or attend a Harvey Weinstein party wearing a low-cut dress.
A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron is a frequent guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.