Entertainment

Anderson Cooper Spent An Absurd Amount Of Money To Stay Warm On New Year’s Eve

OPINION
CNN anchor Anderson Cooper adjusts his earpiece during a commercial break while moderating a Democratic presidential debate sponsored by CNN and Facebook at Wynn Las Vegas on October 13, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

(Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Jena Greene Reporter
Font Size:

CNN’s Anderson Cooper revealed he spent an absurd amount of money to keep warm on New Year’s eve during an interview with Stephen Colbert.

I’ve attached the full interview below in case you want to waste 10 minutes of your life. But in a world where we have mind-numbingly impossible calculus equations, sandpaper to rub on your face, and artisanal vegan jerky shops to tour, why would you watch Colbert and the Silver Fox make puppy dog eyes at each other for 10 minutes?

For those of you who skipped over the video, I’ll sum it up. Anderson Cooper had too much on his mind so he walked out in the middle of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.” He was also “surprised” by CNN’s pot bender segment on New Year’s Eve. And — here’s the zinger — he was afraid of the cold so he bought himself a nice warm $3,000 electric jacket to ring in the new year.

“I spend $2,900 buying electric clothing,” he told Colbert. “I didn’t know they had electrically heated clothing now. There’s a battery pack on your socks, a battery pack on a vest, a battery pack on your long underwear, on your hat, on your gloves – and they sold me the Ferrari of warming gloves,” he jokes.

Ok. Stop the tape. Is this guy serious? He calls himself an American? I don’t care what side of the aisle you’re on. This is potentially the most insidious act a single person has done in a very long time.

Thank goodness the Pilgrims didn’t have heated vests when they crossed the Atlantic in search of a better life. They might’ve lost their edge otherwise. I bet our Allied soldiers really would have appreciated some electric long underwear when they were freezing to death in the Battle Of The Bulge though. You think any Arctic explorers got the special treatment with $3,000 heated gloves during their expedition? No. They didn’t. Because it’s against the American spirit.

You think Bill Belichick likes wearing shorts and a light cotton tee to check out Gillette Stadium in 10 degree weather? Absolutely the heck not. He does it because he’s a winner.

Because winners aren’t afraid of an icicle. If Anderson Cooper isn’t man enough to ring in the new year like the rest of us, he can get off our continent and move to Aruba.