Deadspin Is Upset Bill Belichick Expects His Player To Show Up On Time

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David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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Deadspin published a laughable article complaining about the fact New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick won’t let his players use the snow as an excuse for showing up late.

Several players recently spoke with ESPN, and made it clear that the snow won’t be a viable excuse for showing up late to practice. A massive snow storm is expected to pound New England today, and players are are expected to have their schedules reflect the current conditions. Seems pretty reasonable.

Well, Deadspin would beg to differ. They published an article titled, “Bill Belichick Still Does Not Care About Snow, Basic Decency,” and wrote the following:

Belichick can acknowledge that there’s a blizzard approaching and encourage his players to do the same—“we all know there is weather” isn’t quite there—and even encourage them to be safe as they do their best to make it to practice on time tomorrow morning. He could acknowledge that they are real human beings whose lives have value outside their ability to make it to practice tomorrow. Belichick could even acknowledge that he is a real human being whose life has value outside his ability to hold practice tomorrow!

Imagine typing out those words and actually thinking you made a great point. I can just picture it now. Punching away on their keyboard with a massive smile on their face and thinking, “I’m going to show them now!” It’s so emasculating and the exact opposite of everything sports stands for.

Belichick has a championship mentality. It’s why he’s won several of those things we like to call Super Bowls. How many Deadspin writers have won Super Bowls? I don’t know for sure, but I’m going to guess that number is probably hovering somewhere between zero and one.

It’s currently -20 degrees outside my house. The only thing that separates me from a certain death are the walls around me and my front door. Yet, I’m here grinding it out in a situation that most men would crumble. That’s the championship mentality Deadspin doesn’t get.

You can’t win Super Bowls and have your players show up whenever you want, just like you can’t take the day off from taking over the internet because it’s cold outside.

Here’s another true story that I’m sure will stun and shock Deadspin. We used to have high school basketball practice at six in the morning on days when it’d be -30. No other schools did that. You know what else no other schools did that year? Go 29-0, set a state record for wins and walk away with a state championship.

That’s the difference between those of us who win and the morons over at Deadspin. I hope they’re all bundled up today in their safe spaces. I’m sure the Pats are preparing to win another Super bowl. You can decide for yourself which of the two is a more appealing option.

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