I’ve been 26 years old for less than 48 hours, and I already am not a huge fan.
There was once upon a time when I was just a young kid who could hang with the best of them. Spending all hours of the night wide awake, partying, working or doing anything else had little impact on my ability to dominate the next day.
I’m starting to think those days are done. It’s like a switch got magically flipped after finding myself on the wrong side of 25. I went out for a couple beers last night, and can hardly operate. This is my new sad reality.
Why does this happen? Why do good things happen to the best of people? I truly don’t understand. There is zero chance I make it to 40 if this what becoming an old man is like. I’m already starting to get gray hair in my majestic beard and that’s not even a top 10 concern right now about getting old.
Hangovers? I used to laugh those out of the room. You think somebody with my genes had to worry about hangovers? I was born and bred as an elite champion, but apparently my decades of poor decisions have finally caught up to me. Growing old was supposed to be about more private jets, nice whiskeys, exotic hunting trips and buying ranches in the West. It wasn’t supposed to be about having a broken body before 30.
The good news is that America loves a great comeback, and I have a feeling we’ve got one of the greatest comebacks in this country’s history on the horizon. Can a 26 year old physically broken David Hookstead remain king of the internet or does time truly come calling for all? Stay tuned because things are about to get wild.