The Mirror

Cynthia Nixon Has The Most Repulsive Bagel Order Of All Time

Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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I’m thinking of the poop in a chocolate pie in The Help when I think of something that sounds worse than what Cynthia Nixon puts on a bagel.

The actress is in a race for the governor of New York — a town, if she hadn’t noticed, that takes its bagels way too seriously.

“Don’t yuck my yum,” she told rational people who can’t fathom why she’d simultaneously put the following ingredients on a bagel.

The cream cheese was plain. She added red onions, tomato and capers.

Politicians have been mocked for far worse than a fishy bagel sandwich with cinnamon and raisins. But even the New York Post schmeared her for it, writing, “Cynthia Nixon’s bagel order is horrifying.”

In 2011, comedian Jon Stewart went absolutely nuts when he saw Donald Trump eating a slice of pizza with a plastic fork and knife.

“Frankly it was very comfortable,” Trump said. “I like not to eat the crust.”

Outraged, Stewart grabbed a slice during his show and taught Trump how to properly eat a piece of pizza.

“Are you eating it with a fucking fork?” Stewart asked. “…Watch and learn for God sakes. Watch and fucking learn. You fold it and you eat it.”

In 2014, Stewart went off on New York Mayor Bill de Blasio for committing the same pizza eating crime.

“He cut his pizza with a knife and fork?” Stewart asked on his show. “Motherfucker!”