OPINION: The Una-Bubba Sends Fake Bombs To Fake News Outlets
Let’s agree that strip club bouncer (and aspiring pizza delivery man) Cesar Sayoc, hyped up on steroids and living in his van, is not a criminal mastermind.
Going into an election, this nut job has handed Democrats a gift and the status they love — the highest honor a Democrat can bestow upon himself: victim.
This South Florida Una-Bubba misspelled the names of many of the folks to whom he was sending the packages. The poorly constructed, fake bombs shine a negative light on our K-12 education system. Maybe if we better funded vocational ed and shop classes, Americans could produce better fake bombs.
We have gotten lazy as a country. James Earl Ray, Sirhan Sirhan, Lee Harvey Oswald and John Wilkes Booth got up early, made a plan, stalked their victims, and did the deed themselves. Sayoc just mailed it in.
The “bombs” were so benign and symbolic in nature that he might as well have sent his targets Adam Sandler‘s last ten movies.
This story all unfolded during the World Series. Baseball used to be our national pastime; now it is political smearing. And the media did not waste any time blaming Trump.
CNN’s Atlanta HQ got its suspicious package last Monday, after Cesar was caught and after his first prison rape. Shocker: the crack Atlanta postal workers were a week late? That’s not the efficient government of Atlanta that I remember. But on the bright side, since part of this story happened to CNN it had to stop what it was doing and cover “real news” for once.
If you were a Democrat hyena, you got a non-functioning fake bomb from this buffoon. High praise indeed. These Democrat luminaries are heroes now, since their fake bombs were opened by their mail screening staffers located miles away.
To listen to them, it’s like they served four tours of duty in Vietnam.
Lead Kavanaugh smear designee Senator Dianne Feinstein probably got a bomb too, but in keeping with her self-serving tactics, she chose to not disclose it until the most opportune time — for her. Ditto for NBC News.
There have not been that many suspicious packages around Washington, D.C., since Bill Clinton jogged in tight shorts. As Joe DeVito points out, Robert DeNiro also got a “suspicious package.” Police believe it contained a decent script.
Predictably, the left feigned moral outrage at the lack of civility of our president, which they say led to fake bombs sent to fake news organizations. In some Kevin Bacon media parlor game of “Six Degrees of Separation,” we know everything is Trump’s fault or should be, and the left scrambles to blame him.
In the same week The New York Times published a fictional short story about a Russian KGB agent who, along with deep state Secret Service agents, kills President Trump. It was based on the fantasy short film by Michael Moore, and is what every leftist prays for — if he prays.
The Washington Post said of Cesar:
His work history is inflated. Chippendales denied he was ever affiliated with the company. He also told co-workers that he was an American Indian from the Seminole tribe, that he lived on the reservation. But the Seminole Tribe of Florida, Seminole Gaming and Hard Rock International all said they could find no evidence to support that.
Who among us has not been able to get on with the Chippendale dancers? And why would The Washington Post question his self-identified native American heritage? It didn’t question Senator “Pocahontas” Warren’s. Both have a better chance of winning the Powerball than of being actual Native Americans.
In fact, let me help them with their Indian tribal names. Senator “Pocahontas,” you are “Dances Around the Truth.“ Cesar, you are “Dances at Chippendales.“ Now you can open a casino in your basement and get into Harvard with an 850 SAT score.
As Trump tends to do in these situations, he sent mixed messages. He infuriates the press. First, he forcefully condemned the acts and then took swipes at the “fake news.” It was almost like he said, “There are good people on both sides of this fake bombing.“
Led by ex-President–in–exile Barack Obama, the left tried to place blame for the bombing on Trump. Obama should know: He was the only person to win a
Nobel Peace Prize at the same time he was bombing six countries.
Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, award winning author and TV/radio commentator who appears on Fox and CNN, you can reach him at Ron@RonaldHart.com or Twitter @RonaldHart.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.