STUDY: James Bond Is A Raging Alcoholic. Here’s How Often He Drinks In The Movies

(Photo by Adam Berry/Getty Images for Sony Pictures)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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A new study suggests legendary spy James Bond might have a problem when it comes to hitting the bottle and boozing it up.

The New York Post reported the following on the study:

Martini-loving spy James Bond has a severe drinking problem and should seek help, researchers argue in a new paper titled “License to Swill.”

“There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the ‘severe’ end of the spectrum,” wrote the researchers from the University of Otago in New Zealand in the paper published Monday in the Medical Journal of Australia.

During his six decades on screen, a drink touched the secret agent’s lips 109 times at an average of 4.5 times per movie, the researchers found.

Generally speaking, I’m a very pro-science guy. I love science, but I think the Medical Journal of Australia simply doesn’t understand the spook game.

Bond isn’t drinking because he wants to or enjoys it. He’s doing it because it’s what the job calls for. The same logic applies to the women. You think he’s taking all those smokes to bed because he’s actually interested in having sex with them? Don’t be foolish. He’s doing it to save the world. That’s the kind of sacrifice we should be applauding. It’s not something we should be shaming. (SLIDESHOW: These Women On Instagram Hate Wearing Clothes)

Besides, there are few better ways to set the tone for the room than saying you want a martini, shaken, not stirred.

Isn’t the idea it’s not really a drinking problem unless it impacts your work in a negative fashion? Hell, I could argue Bond’s alcohol tendencies have done more to save the world than just about anything else. If he doesn’t have a drink in his hand, how is he supposed to break the ice with a woman he needs to have sex with solely for the purpose of extracting information? I don’t see any better option.

Remember, he’s not doing these things out of his own desire. He’s doing it because duty calls. It’s an important distinction the study apparently fails to recognize.

At this publication, we fully support Bond’s right and patriotic duty to suck down martinis as long as it means the world remains safe. I guess we just play by a more renegade set of rules.

H/T: Barstool Sports

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