Editorial

If You’re Dumb Enough To Storm Area 51, Then You’re Dumb Enough To Get Shot

Area 51 (Credit: Shutterstock/Clayton Harrison)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief

The United States military is going to get free target practice if idiots actually try to storm Area 51.

As I’m sure you all know by know, there is a massive movement online to take over the famous military base in Nevada to discover aliens or some other dumb stuff along those lines.

So far, a million people have signed up on Facebook to help take over the base. In case you were wondering, the military says the Air Force “stands ready to protect America and its assets,” according to the Independent. (SLIDESHOW: These Are The Hottest Women On Instagram)

Listen up, folks. If you’re dumb enough to actually show up to Nevada to storm a military base, then you’re dumb enough to get an up close introduction to the power of the U.S. military.

I know this started as a joke, but we all know there are going to be some people who actually take this too seriously.

If they rush the gates of the base, a B2 could annihilate them all. It would be unbelievable.

Let’s assume the bombing runs from the U.S. Air Force fail. Do you know what awaits these morons? A bunch of highly-trained military professionals armed with rifles.

It would be a video game for them. These dorks who just saw sunlight for the first time in years after leaving their mom’s basement would be cutdown like a blowtorch through soft butter.

After that, if there are still people trying to advance on base positions, they’d likely find themselves in close-quarter combat, which could include hand-to-hand fighting.

Who do we think is better off in a fistfight? The guy who plays video games 10 hours a day or the military pro?

Go ahead and storm those gates, you dorks. Find those aliens! You’re going to get lit up like a Christmas tree.

The world could use fewer idiots, and this sounds like a great way to get started on culling the herd.