SEARS: Raiding Area 51 Is A Great Idea

Area 51 (Credit: Shutterstock/Clayton Harrison)

Alec Sears Contributor
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There comes a moment in every person’s life when they realize for the very first time that they are beholding greatness. I had one such moment recently when a quiet voice, almost a whisper on the wind, told me to go on Facebook, where I found legions of like-minded Americans seeking to raid the top-secret government installation known as Area 51.

There is no mission more honorable than swarming a secret base with the sole purpose of freeing the alien prisoners that (might) be there and (possibly) disseminating alien technology to the public.

Watching a pure, unadulterated, bipartisan grassroots campaign grow is a thing of beauty. Not since the early days of the Tea Party have we seen anything on the scale of the movement to raid Area 51. Thanks to a brilliant social media strategy, activists have meticulously recruited participants for the all-out raid of our nation’s most secretive military base, to the tune of 2 million and counting.

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we owe it to potential alien prisoners to rescue them from perdition. Being locked in a cage, kept underground, and experimented on is hardly the American Dream.

When it comes to rushing Area 51 with a mass population which claims the ability to outrun bullets, naysayers point to the willingness of the federal government to fire on a large group of civilians. This is the argument of a simpleton. If a couple of million citizens try to rush a military base, military personnel will have to choose between causing the worst massacre in American history or merely allowing those citizens to walk onto a secure facility.

Whichever way this goes, it’s win-win. Either we find out what’s in Area 51, or the federal government massacres unarmed civilians, inspiring a backlash that will undoubtedly limit the size and scope of the government.

Some of the participants may die, regrettably, but that is a risk I am willing to take.

I would be remiss not to mention the one who brought Area 51 to the world’s attention: Bob Lazar. Bob’s claim to fame is that his last name also sounds like “laser.” Supposedly, Lazar also worked at one of the labs surrounding Area 51 and personally saw nine alien crafts they are holding there.

Lazar told his story mostly as an insurance policy. If anything ever happened to Lazar, he wanted everyone to know who did it and why. When Lazar first came out with the story, plenty of people called him a crack-pot. “Of course the government isn’t hiding alien technology from us,” they said. However, since 1989, when Lazar told his story, many of his claims have been proven correct. For example, in 1989 he (might have) predicted the discovery of element 115, Moscovium, synthesized in 2003.

Bob Lazar claims to know way more than he really should and suggests he suffers immense government harassment because of it. Any record of him attending MIT has been erased along with his birth certificate and Social Security number. All of this is detailed in a documentary titled “Bob Lazar: Area 51 & Flying Saucers.” On the other hand, Lazar has come out against the raid on the secret base, so maybe he isn’t that smart after all.

Fueling the movement to rescue the aliens is the fact that objects infiltrate our airspace that we cannot identify. The Pentagon confirmed it. Elected officials in the United States have reportedly been briefed on these flying objects. What’s more frightening, the possibility of alien life? Or the possibility that a foreign power is so technologically advanced they can violate our airspace with impunity? Which reality will help you sleep better at night?

It wasn’t until 2013 that the CIA confirmed the existence of Area 51. Since that time, many media outlets have reported on UFOs. The Pentagon released classified videos. Congressional leaders have been briefed. One theory regarding such sudden transparency is that our government is slowly preparing the public for a significant announcement. Whatever you think of conspiracy theorists or aliens, something big may (or may not) be on its way.

The public at large should not look down on the average citizen for being curious, and perhaps being willing to get filled with bullets. The quest to storm Area 51 is honorable and commendable. Either we are going to find some new alien best friends and change the world forever, or the political landscape will crumble as a result of the massacre of an unarmed populace. Truly an all-around victory.

(This article is a parody, the author does not recommend any attempts to take over a military base.)

Alec Sears (@SearsAL) is a conservative writer.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.