Sen. Elizabeth Warren declared at a campaign event last fall that for a person to be considered as her Secretary of Education if she were to be elected President, that candidate first would have to be interviewed and approved by a nine-year old transgendered student. Notwithstanding the sheer lunacy of such a declaration (made by the candidate with a straight face and to a round of applause from her audience), it got me thinking – applying such selection criteria to other positions, what might a Warren cabinet look like?
• For the post of attorney general, the candidate would be vetted by a panel of convicted felons. This would help guarantee President Warren’s “top cop” would possess extensive, first-hand knowledge of how the federal penal system operates. It also would essentially guarantee we would have an attorney general whose dislike for law enforcement would fit the mold that seems to be the litmus test for Democrat Party candidates – supporting prosecutors who see the police rather than criminals as the bad guys.
• Secretary of state candidates would have to pass muster by a panel limited to citizens of other countries — preferably countries whose leaders despise the United States and share the Obama administration’s “America last” world view. Advocates of this philosophy adhere to the mindset of today’s Democrat Party, which is that every serious problem facing the world in the 21st century has been caused by the United States.
• The only candidates who could be considered by Warren’s transition team for the post of secretary of commerce would be individuals who previously worked for the federal minimum hourly wage. For far too long, secretaries of commerce have been people who have demonstrated success in the commercial sector. Many of these pre-Warren administration cabinet officials entered the office as “multi-millionaires” who, in Warren’s opinion, achieved that status only by climbing on the backs of hourly workers and gaming the system rather than through hard work.
• For treasury secretary, Warren certainly would select someone whose understanding of economics reflects her own minimal knowledge in that field. The transition team panel interviewing for this cabinet post would consist of men and women who reflexively reject any market-based economic model. The field of candidates for this post would be limited to individuals who promise to implement only economic policies reflecting the deeply socialist economic principles espoused by Warren and her senatorial colleague Bernie Sanders. The panel interviewing candidates for this post likely would include a Venezuelan economist and a student who failed Economics 101.
• The panel for the post of defense secretary in a Warren administration would include former President Jimmy Carter’s daughter Amy (who famously tutored him on nuclear policy just prior to a debate with then-Republican nominee Ronald Reagan in 1980), former Democrat presidential nominee Michael Dukakis (remembered for his knowledge of how to drive a tank) and a representative of the pacifist Religious Society of Friends (Quakers).
• For secretary of the interior, no panel or interview would be needed. Greta Thunberg would be Warren’s obvious choice from day one.
• Considering the importance of “Medicare for All” as a cornerstone of her presidential campaign, Warren’s panel before which candidates for secretary of health and human services would be vetted would almost certainly include Stanford University School of Medicine research psychologist Christine Blasey Ford (of anti-Kavanaugh fame), the Right Honorable Matt Hancock — who serves as Britain’s secretary of state for health and social care, and the Honorable Patty Hajdu, who, as Canada’s minister of health, is responsible for our northern neighbor’s universal Medicare system (which drives so many patients to the United States for medical care).
• While there are many more cabinet-level posts which a President-elect Elizabeth Warren would need to fill, no potential list would be complete without noting the panel to which she assuredly would turn to choose a director of the CIA – Rep. Adam Schiff, Sen. Chuck Schumer, and the so-called Ukraine “whistleblower” (who would, of course, remain anonymous in order to preserve his or her sanctified status).
Bob Barr represented Georgia’s 7th District in the U.S. House of Representatives from 1995 to 2003. He now serves as President of the Law Enforcement Education Foundation based in Atlanta, Georgia.