Opinion

HART: I Hope Caitlyn Jenner Wins The California Governor’s Race

REUTERS/Danny Moloshok

Ron Hart Ron Hart is a libertarian humorist and author who can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com.
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This will be fun. Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known to the world as Bruce Jenner, is running as a Republican to unseat egotistically left, pious hypocrite Gov. Gavin “Do as I Say, Not as I Do” Newsom.

Olympic Decathlon idol of my childhood, Caitlyn Jenner may have given up broad jumping to transition to a woman, but she is my hero.

She was on the Wheaties box when I was a kid. Now she is on to other boxes, but let’s hope she/he wins the race in California. The vicious lie that predicates every liberal’s debate with someone right-of-center is that we are homophobic, racist, xenophobic and the new one, trans-phobic. In reality, we do not care a bit about all that stuff.  We just want someone to run the government who can fix the potholes and keep the streets safe, schools good and taxes low. When those things are done, get out of our business.

What will the left do with a transgendered Republican running? It will kill them to try to destroy her/him. I can see the California Senate holding hearings on rumors that, when she was young, Caitlyn Jenner’s private parts were fondled regularly by famous athlete and Republican Bruce Jenner.

Given what has happened to the Republican party post-Trump, it will be good that Caitlin runs. I can get behind the idea that there is finally a Republican with cojones.

Perhaps the influence and the politics of the self-righteous leftist class in California are waning. The Oscars ratings crashed so hard you’d think Tiger Woods was driving with Harrison Ford.

Hollywood held its increasingly awful Academy Awards in LA’s historic Union Station. They had to gently “bum’s rush” all the indigents and vagrants out in order to do the show. In reality, with all the actors there and the homeless gone, mental illness and intravenous drug use actually spiked.

That is what happens when you legalize drugs in California — a state where cocaine is essentially legal and plastic straws are illegal. Imagine how infuriating that must be to law-abiding cocaine users.

I am all in behind Caitlyn. And keep your mind out of the gutter. I will send money. I think she will show the world that ideology trumps identity politics.

She might have some controversy. We all heard about the false story that Trump did the “golden showers” with hookers in Russia. Caitlyn did a live show in the UK where she actually showered. Perhaps the Queen Mother ordered it in hopes that Prince Andrew would be forced to watch it and swear off women.

Will the Republican Caitlyn Jenner really change the nutty world of California politics? Probably not. But she can put a speed bump on the looney left’s ideas and perhaps lower taxes that will stem the exodus of the most productive people from California.

And it will be a boon for the Kardashians, who have lost steam with their show “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”partially around the fact that Kanye West has become a bigger ass. But can you blame him? Having one mother-in-law is hard enough, but now two?

I will pitch another show in which Kendall and Kylie Jenner, Caitlyn’s daughters, do a new reality show: “One-and-a-Half Mothers.”

I hope Oprah interviews Caitlyn when she runs and treats her with kid gloves like she did Andrew and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Maybe Oprah will if Jenner is presented as royalty, perhaps as the Duke and Duchess of Middlesex?

Caitlyn is smart. She is killing it on the corporate speech circuit. Ex-Olympic champion, transgender icon — she clicks a lot of CYA boxes for companies trying to buy their wokeness. And she is a smart businessperson. Caitlyn makes ten times more money than Bruce ever did.

To be a good governor you must make good decisions. It is hard being a straight white male in California, so Caitlyn Jenner is smart; she got out just in time. It takes a pair to do what she did.

Now that Caitlyn has been outed as a Republican, her coddling by the liberal media will end. It is the worst outing you can get in these times: a person who thinks independently coming to her own political conclusions. And say good-bye to winning Glamour and Vanity Fair’s Woman of the Year Award. That would just reinforce the myth that men are better at everything they try.

Ron Hart, a libertarian syndicated op-ed humorist, worked at Goldman Sachs and is an award-winning author and TV/radio commentator. He can be reached at Ron@RonaldHart.com, or visit www.RonaldHart.com.