Daily Caller OBLITERATES Foreign Policy Nerds In Softball Season Opener


Scoops Delacroix Freelance Writer
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The Daily Caller Expanded Universe softball team kicked off their title defense with a smashing victory Tuesday night in Washington, D.C., defeating The Washington Institute by a final score of 26-15.

Let this reporter be the first to tell you that the final scoreline is hardly indicative of the dominance the Callers displayed. After a 13-run top of the first inning, both teams agreed the champs would only go through the batting order once per inning so as to prevent a never-ending hit parade from keeping the players there all night.

Standout days were had at the plate across the board, but particularly by Daily Caller News Foundation Education Reporter Reagan Reese, who deployed her speed as a weapon on the basepaths to turn an outfield error into a homerun, and Washington Examiner (barf) Investigative Reporter Breccan Thies, who smacked the team’s first home run of the season in the top of the first inning. Player-Coach and former Daily Caller Traveling Ad Salesman Jake Berube tacked on a smattering of RBIs, despite complaining that this didn’t really “scratch my softball itch” because he didn’t make solid contact at the plate all day.

The Callers fell into a bit of a lull defensively after jumping out to such a huge lead, with nearly everyone in the field making an error or two and needing to shake off some rust. Daily Caller News Foundation Reporting Fellow Jason Cohen made some nice catches in the outfield though, and Check Your Fact Chief Nerd Elias Atienza had an incredible sliding catch on an infield pop-up late in the game.

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The Washington Institute, which apparently tries to bring peace to the Middle East or something (doing great so far guys), was able to cobble together some big innings late to tighten the scoreline, but their 6th-inning rally ultimately fell short on a classic intentionally-dropped-infield-line-drive-double-play by Berube at Shortstop.

The Callers (1-0) will continue their march to a second consecutive title next Tuesday night at 6 p.m. against the Center for American Progress.

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