You Think Gen Z Slang Is Insane? You’re Not Ready For Gen Alpha Slang


Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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A report published Wednesday detailed the slang of our next generation, Gen Alpha, and the world is not ready for these words.

“Gyat,” “rizzler,” “Fanum tax,” are just some of the new words being developed across America by Gen Alpha, the generation below Gen Z, both chronologically and now intellectually, according to the New York Times. “There’s no cute way to say it — it’s just a word for a big butt,” a 13-year-old Pennsylvania student told the outlet. “If someone has a big butt, someone will say ‘gyat’ to it.”

Apparently “gyat” is pronounced with a hard “g” and an emphasis on “yat” – “yacht.” The kid and her family learned the word on TikTok, which honestly makes me feel like it’s some weird Chinese Communist Party joke designed to make our children illiterate.

“Rizzler,” is a good person. “Rizz” is having a good time. Back in my day, a rizzler was a cigarette paper. Then there’s “Fanum tax,” coined for a popular Twitch streamer. Fanum always makes his friends share food with him, apparently. The food is the “tax” part of the linguistic equation. (RELATED: One Thing Will Hurt The ‘Avocado Toast Generation,’ Financial Guru Says. But Is She Right?)

Listen, I’m as hip and down with the kids as the next 30-year-old trapped inside a disgruntled 75-year-olds body. But pretty soon the English language won’t even exist. And surely we need to be teaching kids how to read, write, maybe do some math and science, instead of rotting their brains on TikTok? Please?