Don’t Panic Guys, China’s Just Messing Around With Dark Matter. We’re Sure It’ll Be Fine (Not)


Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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Chinese scientists quietly launched an enormous underground lab to study dark matter in December 2023, and we’re sure everything will be fine (not).

The China Jinping Underground Laboratory (CJPL) initially opened in 2010, but a second major phase of construction was completed in 2023, allowing the lab to become fully operational at the end of the year, according to Nature. CJPL is the world’s deepest and largest underground facility, sitting some 2,400 meters below the Jinping Mountains in southwest China.

A whole host of experiments are taking place at the facility, mostly related to dark matter. As noted by Nature, dark matter is a “scientific mystery.” The term “dark matter” is a blanket label given to whatever it is that makes up most of the known universe.

Physicists believe gravity from visible matter (literally just the stuff we can see) isn’t strong enough to hold galaxies together. So, they came up with the term “dark matter” to label the stuff that actually keeps space in place, instead of potentially admitting they don’t have a flipping clue what is going on within the cosmos.

While there’s no immediate threat from this lab, scientists in China just created a virus with a 100% kill-rate in mice, which they said could easily spread to humans. (RELATED: Harvard Scientist Claims Those Loud Mysterious Bangs You’re Hearing Are From UFOs — And They Almost Killed Us All)

So … My faith in China’s national scientific purpose deeply concerns me, especially since everything in China is ultimately owned and at the disposal of the Chinese Communist Party. And they’ve never done anything wrong. Ever. (Said no one, ever).

And, not that anyone asked, but I think dark matter might be time.