Building Confidence From Scratch: 10 Key Lessons

If you’ve struggled to believe in yourself, or if you’ve never developed the confidence you wish you had, it may feel like you’re stuck in a permanent rut, without any real possibility of change. But this isn’t necessarily the case; with the right guidance and effort, anyone can build confidence from scratch.

With more confidence, you’ll feel better about yourself, you’ll be more influential and impressive to others, and eventually you’ll be on a path to greater happiness and satisfaction.

So how do you get there?

How to Build Confidence From Scratch

These are some of the best strategies for building competence from scratch.

1. Start with a positive mindset. Everything starts with a positive mindset. If you’re trapped in thinking that you’re always going to have low confidence and you’re never going to get better, your prediction will become your reality. Instead, believe that you can develop confidence and insist to yourself that change is possible. Even if you don’t truly believe it, assert these things to yourself whenever you get the chance.
2. Consider working with a therapist. Finding a therapist online these days is relatively easy. With a simple search, you can find qualified therapists in your area and schedule an appointment, usually within the next week or so. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your low confidence, support you with emotional guidance, and help you develop strategies to boost your confidence in addition to what you read here. If you’ve never tried therapy before, you owe it to yourself to try a few sessions so you can experience firsthand how helpful it can truly be.
3. Confront what you don’t like about yourself. This is a difficult step, but it’s an important one. Spend some time thinking about what it is you don’t like about yourself and what’s holding you back from feeling confident. Is it your appearance? Your abilities? Your station in life? Some of these items, once you list them, will seem superficial and trivial. Others will be opportunities for you to do genuine work on yourself. In any case, you’ll be able to acknowledge that your lack of confidence isn’t some supernatural curse; it has roots in the real world.
4. List your past achievements. Try focusing on all your past achievements. Achievements are one of the best ways to build confidence, since they prove that you have genuine ability. Did you get good grades in school? Did you win any athletic championships? Have you made significant career progression? Do you have strong relationships and friendships? There are countless things you’ve probably achieved, but it’s easy to forget them if you’re dwelling on things you don’t like about yourself.
5. Set and achieve specific goals. Set goals for yourself that are truly challenging, but reasonable to accomplish. This way, you can add more achievements to your list and gradually feel better and better about yourself. The nature of your goals doesn’t exactly matter; as long as you’re working on something that’s important to you, your goal accomplishments should help you feel more confident.
6. Get a new hobby. If you’re not sure where to start, or if you’re looking for more ways to boost your confidence, consider getting a new hobby. Hobbies typically allow you to develop new skills and interact with new people, both of which are helpful in developing confidence. Plus, if you have lots of hobbies, you’ll feel like a well-rounded person and you’ll carry yourself with more confidence in future interactions.
7. Practice positive self-talk. Oftentimes, one root of low confidence is negative self-talk. In other words, in your internal monologue, you typically talk down to yourself. Correct this by focusing on the positive whenever you can. For example, instead of saying “I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I did that,” say, “I made a reasonable mistake, but it’s okay. These types of things happen to everyone.”
8. Improve your health. You can also boost your confidence by improving your own health. Commit to exercising every day, even if it’s just a brisk walk around the block. Reduce the junk food you consume and try to eat healthier portions of more nutritious foods. After a few weeks, we can almost guarantee you’ll feel better about yourself.
9. Splurge on clothes you feel good wearing. How you dress can have a big impact on your psychology. If you have the budget for it, consider splurging on some clothes you feel good wearing. Again, the specifics aren’t important; what’s important is that you have clothes that make you feel like you look your best.
10. Surround yourself with supportive people. Finally, start surrounding yourself with more supportive people. If you find yourself around people who make you feel bad about yourself for any reason, consider moving away from them. When you find people who reassure and bolster you, keep them around.

One Step at a Time

If you don’t feel confident right away after starting to implement these steps, don’t worry. That’s a natural part of the process. Developing confidence isn’t something that happens overnight; for most people, it takes months to years before you start feeling a significant and permanent payoff. What’s important is that you continue moving forward, one step at a time, with new strategies and approaches that allow your confidence to manifest.