DC Trawler

This is an Elena Alert

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There’s nothing wrong with being gay, which is why it’s wrong to ask if somebody’s gay.

And Elena Kagan definitely isn’t, according to people who’d know:

  • “Elena totally goes out with guys!”, insists America’s conscience, Eliot Spitzer.
  • White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs says, “I know for a fact that Ms. Kagan is a card-carrying member of the McDreamy Fan Club.”
  • “Y’know, I’m just not picking up any vibes,” muses former comedian Rosie O’Donnell.

Well, if it’s such a big issue, the men she’s dated must be out there somewhere. This calls for an Elena Alert.

Are you a someone with a penis who has been romantically involved with Elena Kagan? Or do you know a man who’s gone there? E-mail us at elenaalert@dailycaller.com today.

Remember: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is evil. So, do tell!

Jim Treacher