1.) EPA saves us from job growth and affordable electricity — How did you charge up the device you’re using to read this? Did magic elves do it? You’d better hope so, because if you have to plug it into the wall like the rest of us, you’re screwed. TheDC’s Caroline May reports: “The coal industry is crying foul over new Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) regulations which they say will be among the most be costly rules ever imposed by the agency on coal-fueled power plants. The result, industry insiders say: substantially higher electricity rates and massive job loss. ‘The EPA is ignoring the cumulative economic damage new regulations will cause,’ said Steve Miller, president and CEO of the American Coalition for Clean Coal Electricity (ACCCE). ‘America’s coal-fueled electric industry has been doing its part for the environment and the economy, but our industry needs adequate time to install clean coal technologies to comply with new regulations. Unfortunately, EPA doesn’t seem to care…’ While the EPA’s alleged benefits are lofty, House Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman Fred Upton cautioned that the new rules will come with a hefty price. ‘The goal for these rules should be reasonable regulation that protects public health and the environment while also preserving economic growth. Unfortunately, the unprecedented pace at which the administration is issuing major new rules that impose new costs and regulatory requirements on states, employers, and consumers fails that basic test,’ said Upton. ‘By issuing multiple regulations for the energy and other sectors at such an accelerated rate, EPA has turned regulation from a manageable tool into an unpredictable moving target that makes it difficult for companies to invest and create jobs.’” Jobs? Who cares about jobs when liberal self-esteem is at stake? Why should Americans be able to earn a living if it makes treehuggers weep? P.S. If you really care about all this stuff, how are you even reading this in the first place? Shouldn’t you be eating sticks and dirt in a cave someplace? Why are you destroying the planet?
2.) Another stunning stimulus success — In other governmental meddling news, TheDC’s Neil Munro reports: “The White House decision to sell 30 million barrels of oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve has failed to stop the upward march of oil prices, or to stimulate the economy. Prices for crude oil and gasoline dipped on the June 23 announcement, but have subsequently risen because expanding economies in Asia and South America are bidding up the market price, according to oil industry analysts. President Barack Obama’s sale ‘did not make a damn bit of difference,’ said Dan Kish, vice president for policy at the Institute for Energy Research. Eight days after the announcement, ‘the price of oil was higher than it was the day he announced’ the release of oil from the reserve, Kish said.” If you didn’t know better, you’d start to think Obama has no idea what he’s doing. Fortunately, you know better. Right?
3.) TSA = Taking Stuff, Audaciously — The Transportation Security Administration continues to warm the hearts of Americans everywhere, as TheDC’s C.J. Ciaramella reports: “While passengers were taking valuables out of their pockets, one sticky-fingered TSA employee at a Florida airport was stuffing them right back in his pants. On Monday police arrested Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport screener Nelson Santiago on two counts of grand theft for allegedly stealing up to $50,000 worth of passenger valuables over a six month period. Santiago was reportedly caught when a Continental Airlines employee saw him putting an iPad into his pants.” Those things seem slim and lightweight until you’re trying to cram one down your shorts. But we still don’t know the answer to the most important question: front or back?
4.) Democrat threatens violence; dog bites man — Here’s the way it works: when a conservative talks about “arming” people with facts or says “don’t retreat, reload,” that’s a horrifying threat. When a liberal says he wants to punch you in the head, that’s a metaphor and you’re dumb for taking it literally. TheDC’s Steven Nelson reports: “New Jersey Senate President Stephen Sweeney isn’t sorry for saying that he would like to punch New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie in the face. ‘While the Senate President believes his words may have been too much, he does not apologize for them,’ Sweeney spokesman Chris Donnelly told The Daily Caller. Sweeney called Christie a ‘bully and a punk’ and a ‘rotten bastard’ Friday after he used a line-item veto to slash various government programs from the state’s budget. The senate leader felt betrayed and enraged by Christie’s actions, which were made after Sweeney made a politically hazardous deal with the governor to include pension and health care reforms in the budget. ‘I wanted to punch him in his head,’ Sweeney told The Star-Ledger.” But it’s okay, because Sweeney used violent rhetoric in service of bigger government. It’s not like he went to a Tea Party and said he wanted to punch Obama in the head. Then it’d be a big story!
5.) Arnold’s wealth could be halfinated — Everything’s so PC these days. Come on, you have one little baby with your housekeeper behind your wife’s back, and suddenly you’re a bad guy or something? Now Maria Shriver has filed for divorce and could get half. TheDC’s Amanda Schelling writes: “Under California’s 50-50 community property laws, Shriver, who married former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger 25 years ago with no prenup, is eligible to receive as much as half of the movie star’s estimated $400 million estate… Shriver already has a considerable share of the Kennedy family fortune, which has been kept largely secret by the family but was estimated by Forbes in 1990 to have approached $850 million. She also was earning a seven-figure salary as a newscaster before her husband became governor. Schwarzenegger is required to respond to the filing within two weeks, but it’s as yet unclear whether he’s eligible to receive any of Shriver’s fortune.” Remember when the Terminator and the T-1000 were throwing each other all over the place, smashing walls and stuff? This is going to be even better.
6.) Today’s words of wisdom from Alec Baldwin’s Twitter feed — “Tatum is youngest winner. (Shirley T was honorary.) Jessica Tandy is oldest winner. Hey, I had to learn this. I hosted the Oscars.”