DC Trawler

Michelle Obama gives new meaning to the word “progress”

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Which is to say, she uses the word to mean the opposite of what most mere mortals think it means, in their pitiable ignorance. The Hill reports:

First Lady Michelle Obama cited “remarkable progress” on the economy during a speech for a small crowd of high-profile Hollywood names in Los Angeles on Tuesday evening.

“In the last three years, we’ve worked hard to get out of this mess and we’ve made some remarkable progress,” the first lady told a group of about 135 supporters at a private campaign event for her husband…

“We know there are people still suffering and there is a long road left to travel,” she continued, citing unfinished work as another reason to reelect Obama.

If you’re having trouble with this, you stupid wingnut, maybe exploring the “road” metaphor will explain the First Lady’s logic. Think of it this way, if you’re even capable of thinking: Let’s say you’re driving down the road, and your passenger suddenly seizes the wheel and sends the car off a cliff. What happens then? It makes remarkable progress. Sure, the progress is downward, but it’s progress. And no doubt you will remark upon it.

So, okay, fine, admittedly the car is demolished and everybody’s dead. Hey, that’s the price of progress.

Obama 2012: He’s Not Done With You Yet, America

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Jim Treacher