DC Trawler

Bürgermeister Bloomberg weiß, wie viel Soda Ihnen erlaubt werden sollte, zu trinken

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Do you live in New York City? Are you tired of taking responsibility for your own decisions? Of course you are. That’s why you keep reelecting Michael Bloomberg!

He’s already working hard to free you from the burden of choosing how much salt, fat, alcohol, and tobacco you put into your body. Why should he stop there?


New York City plans to enact a far-reaching ban on the sale of large sodas and other sugary drinks at restaurants, movie theaters and street carts, in the most ambitious effort yet by the Bloomberg administration to combat rising obesity.

The proposed ban would affect virtually the entire menu of popular sugary drinks found in delis, fast-food franchises and even sports arenas, from energy drinks to pre-sweetened iced teas. The sale of any cup or bottle of sweetened drink larger than 16 fluid ounces — about the size of a medium coffee, and smaller than a common soda bottle — would be prohibited under the first-in-the-nation plan, which could take effect as soon as next March…

“Obesity is a nationwide problem, and all over the United States, public health officials are wringing their hands saying, ‘Oh, this is terrible,’ ” Mr. Bloomberg said in an interview on Wednesday in the Governor’s Room at City Hall.

“New York City is not about wringing your hands; it’s about doing something,” he said. “I think that’s what the public wants the mayor to do.”

Well, duh! The public wants Bloomberg to tell them how to live their lives. Do the math, people:

  1. Being healthy is good.
  2. Soda is unhealthy.
  3. It is the role of government to enforce health.

Therefore, Michael Bloomberg should be the one to decide how much soda you can drink before you have to buy another one. What’s the point of being mayor if he can’t exert his will on your personal choices arbitrarily? Face it, Bloomberg can run your life better than you can. And if you don’t like it, you can just move somewhere else.

(Seriously. You can.)

Silly wingnuts. Freedom is for gay marriage, not Dr. Pepper!