Naturally, Lindsay Lohan will star in ‘psycho-sexual thriller’ to air only on Netflix

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor
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In what is sure to be another high point in the long, lustrous movie career of Lindsay Lohan, it was announced today that she has been cast in a new film, “The Canyons,” which features the tagline: “it’s not The Hills…” (You know it’s got to be good when the tagline references MTV’s “reality” series.)

Described as a “psycho-sexual thriller,” “The Canyons” is penned by author (and hopeful “Fifty Shades of Grey” adapter) Bret Easton Ellis, and Paul Schrader of “Taxi Driver” and “Raging Bull” fame.

According to IndieWire, “the film will follow a small group of Los Angeles twenty-somethings, in a psycho-sexual thriller that will have both crime and redemption elements.” Earlier this year when discussing the project, Ellis said that the male lead “has to act and be full frontal naked banging girls and guys realistically.”

If we know our Ellis and Schrader — and we think we do — the movie will go a little something like this: The five main characters will all have sex around and/ or with each other, everyone will get jealous — because, honestly, those group sex things never work out — and at least one of them has a really good chance of meeting a gory death.

However, this is just conjecture.

Playing opposite Lohan is James Deen, a porn star-turned Serious Psycho-Sexual Thriller Actor, who is sure to fill the lead that Ellis described justly. Ellis, whose Twitter feed has been a treasure trove of juicy movie gossip lately, tweeted Tuesday, “Shooting THE CANYONS starring James Deen and Lindsay Lohan: July 9-31 in L.A. Could not have dreamed of a better cast. Lindsay nailed it…” Yes, we’re sure she did.

To keep production costs low, “The Canyons” will be filmed for three short weeks on digital cameras — which is much cheaper and quicker than the standard stuff, as is Lohan. (BOOM.)

Netflix has already tried its hand at original programming with a Kevin Spacey-produced television series, “House of Cards.” “The Canyons” is the first film to employ the straight-to-Netflix strategy.

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