‘Throb Portman’ roasted in hilarious 1991 White House farewell party invitation
When Rob Portman left his job as director of the Office of Legislative Affairs in the George H.W. Bush administration in 1991, his colleagues inside the White House had some fun at his expense when they sent out an invitation for a farewell party in his honor.
An invitation to that bash, obtained by The Daily Caller after requesting records about Portman from the George Bush Presidential Library in College Station, Texas, shows his colleagues roasting him as a clean cut, attractive and ambitious politico.
The one-page invite jokingly refers to the former White House associate counsel and director of the legislative affairs office as “(Th)Rob Portman.”
“He’s educated, presentable and comes from a good family,” the photocopied invite to the April 9, 1991 farewell reception said.
Underneath a photo of Portman appeared the phrase: “Because clean never goes out of style.” To the photo’s left was a mocking quote that read, “I like me and I’m excited about life.”
Portman, now a U.S. senator from Ohio, served the elder Bush in the White House counsel’s office, and later as the president’s primary lobbyist on Capitol Hill.
He is thought to be under serious consideration by Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney to serve as his running mate.
The invitation for the party in the Indian Treaty Room of the White House came about a year before Portman ran for Congress in his native Ohio. The invite ribbed Portman for his apparent congressional ambitions, joking that he would be running for a House seat in “any District in Ohio or Northern [Kentucky].”
“Paid for by the Friends of Rob Portman Exploratory Campaign Committee (both of them),” the invite joked at the bottom.
The invite also featured fake speculation on Portman’s future from well-known political journalists and commentators, presented as though they were appearing on The McLaughlin Group.
“Rob becomes an underwear model for J.C. Penney prompting obscenity hearings by Sen. Helms,” a fake Pat Buchanan says.
“Portman replaces Judge Wopner on The People’s Court,” offers a faux Bob Novak.
An imaginary Jack Germond guesses, “Portman places third in the Cincy Dog Catcher primary.”
“WRONG!” interjects a fictitious John McLaughlin. “Portman heads up Hussein’s Spin Control team and convinces Saddam to shave his mustache.”