A completely legitimate and awesome White House petition created Nov. 19 hopes to “Establish the tradition of the Vice-Presidential Trans-Am.”
The petition demands (sic throughout) that “[f]unds shall be set aside for the purchase and restoration of a fleet of Pontiac Firebird Trans-Ams, a car synonymous with the American spirit and emblematic of a lost era of American automotive manufacturing.”
The goal of the petition is to assign each vice president a Trans-Am, “which will be customized and detailed to the vice-president’s specifications in the period between his election and taking office.”
Another stipulation of the petition is that “annually on June 21st, the vice-president will take part in the Washing of the Trans-Am, marking the start of summer, a public celebration of our national pride, joined by one third-grade class selected by national competition.”
So far, the petition has 198 signatures out of 25,000 needed before the president has to legitimately review the petition.
This petition — while ridiculous — is not completely random and does, in fact, have (fictional) historical roots.
(Photo illustration: The Onion)
In May 2009, the Onion wrote a story called “Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am in White House Driveway.”
The story, although completely fictional, was wildly popular and has been shared over 14,000 times because it sounds like something Biden would actually do. One can actually imagine the vice president drinking a beer, blaring ’80s rock and talking to reporters like this:
“‘This baby just needs a little scrub down,’ said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. ‘Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I’m cruising down Pennsylvania [Avenue].'”
The parody went viral and ever since, the Biden Trans-Am story has turned into a meme with fictional stories of Biden and his beloved Pontiac springing up across the Internet.
But in 2011, Car and Driver magazine asked Biden about the Onion story and whether or not he has ever owned a Trans-Am — let alone washed one while shirtless.
“You think I’d drive a Trans Am? I have been in my bathing suit in my driveway and not only washed my Goodwood-green 1967 Corvette, but also simonized it,” Biden said. “At least the Onion should have had me washing a Trans Am convertible. I love convertibles.”
Over three years later, Biden supporters started a fundraising page on the site Indiegogo to purchase the veep a Trans-Am. So far, the fundraisers are $10,000 short of their $25,000 goal.
The fundraiser ends in eight days, but these guys may not need the money after all if it becomes legally mandated that the VP receive a Trans-Am. If the White House petition receives 25,000 signatures, the “White House staff will review it, ensure it’s sent to the appropriate policy experts, and issue an official response.”
Shirtless Biden washing a Trans-Am in the White House driveway could potentially become a terrifying reality.
