DC Trawler

And now the Dzhokhar Tsarnaev poetry has begun

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The lionization of Boston Marathon bomber, cop-killer, and child-murderer Dzhokhar Tsarnaev continues. Here’s part of a lovely poem about him by Dresden Dolls singer Amanda Palmer, titled simply “A Poem for Dzhokhar”:

you don’t know how it felt to be in the womb but it must have been at least a little warmer than this.

you don’t know how intimately they’re recording your every move on closed-circuit cameras until you see your face reflected back at you through through the pulp.

you don’t know how to stop picking at your fingers.

you don’t know how little you’ve been paying attention until you look down at your legs again.

you don’t know how many times you can say you’re coming until they just stop believing you.

you don’t know how orgasmic the act of taking in a lungful of oxygen is until they hold your head under the water.

you don’t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order.

you don’t know how convinced your parents were that having children would be, absolutely, without question, the correct thing to do.

you don’t know how precious your iphone battery time was until you’re hiding in the bottom of the boat.

you don’t know how to get away from your fucking parents.

you don’t know how it’s possible to feel total compassion in one moment and total disconnection in the next moment.

you don’t know how things could change so incredibly fast.

Yeah, it’s amazing how incredibly fast things can change when you blow up a bunch of people for Allah.

It goes on like that for a bit. I wonder if Palmer would’ve written a poem for this kid-killer if he’d been a boring ol’ Christian teabagger? Would that be alluringly exotic enough for her?

Here’s another poem for Dzhokhar:

You punctured your gullet
Eat another bullet

Say, this is liberating. How about a poem for Amanda Palmer?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Defending this killer
Speaks poorly of you

And now a limerick:

There once was a punk named Jahar
Who killed his own bro with a car
He murdered a kid
But Islam’s why he did
So the left will now make him a star

Okay, I can see the appeal. I feel better already.

But now people are making Palmer feel bad about herself on Twitter, because they are mean:

Hang in there, Amanda. It gets better. The real victim in all this is you.

Update: I just realized why Palmer feels such a connection to this guy. Here’s Tsarnaev:

And here’s Palmer’s husband, author and goth icon Neil Gaiman:

No further questions, Your Honor.


There was a kid-killer who hid in a boat
He tried to check out with a hole in his throat
Killed his own brother by running him down
What a pathetic, diseased little clown


Update: And speaking of his brother…

Update: Everybody wants to write #apoemfordzhokhar.

Tags : treacher
Jim Treacher