Some serious click-bait: Does red meat make your spunk stink?

Well, accord to Salon, yes. And we can really imagine this to be true, especially of the publication’s Alex Pareene, who’s always rather spunky.

Lots of penis fun facts today in Salon‘s click-bait of a story by Tracy Clark-Flory that apparently centers around God’s Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis. This morning at 2:20 a.m. (we don’t even want to know what they were doing) they tweeted, “Red meat makes for funky spunk, and 9 other things your [sic] probably didn’t know about your loved one’s penis.” Good for them. It’s among their “Editor’s Picks.” Other labels they used from their pool of regular labels: Love and Sex, Sex, Penis, Penis Size and Life News.

A sampling of things readers may want to know:

• Sizing: The average erect penis is 6.2 inches.
• There is such a thing as monkey ball transplants.
• Steer clear of Ruth’s Chris. Ingesting red meat does nothing good for the taste of spunk.
• Semen is relatively calorie-free. Comparable to a cup of spinach, 1 -7 calories.

Clark-Flory couldn’t resist penis puns: “It’s a well-researched, dryly witty and worthwhile read. But even a history of the penis can use some … snipping.” Read the full story here.

And just in case you haven’t had enough sexy time with Salon yet today, they have more click-bait. “My life as an escort: ‘Envying someone for prostituting is like envying someone for eating at McDonald’s.'” The escort who wrote the piece doesn’t sound like she likes her life too much. “I never disclose my rates and I don’t claim every encounter ends in mind-blowing orgasms — or any orgasm at all,” she says. And this: “While I often write about clients whose company I enjoy, I also share my occasional fear, revulsion, violation and sadness.” Read that here.

But maybe the best part of her story is the contribution line. Very enlightening.