DC Trawler

Seattleites Are Killing The Planet With Their Garbage, Must Be Punished

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It’s about time somebody thought of this great idea: If people won’t sort their trash voluntarily, make it mandatory and start fining offenders!

Amy Radil, NPR (naturally):

In Seattle, wasting food will now earn you a scarlet letter — well, a scarlet tag, to be more accurate.

The bright red tag, posted on a garbage bin, tells everyone who sees it that you’ve violated a new city law that makes it illegal to put food into trash cans.

“I’m sure neighbors are going to see these on their other neighbors’ cans,” says Rodney Watkins, a lead driver for Recology CleanScapes, a waste contractor for the city. He’s on the front lines of enforcing these rules…

Any household with more than 10 percent food in its garbage earns a bright red tag notifying it of the infraction.

As if living in Seattle isn’t miserable enough already. Can you imagine this guy as a kid?

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Rodney?”
“I wanna be the guy who digs through other people’s garbage and decides if they’re committing trashcrime!”

You don’t know how to live your own life, you filthy proles. You don’t even know how to throw things away properly. So your taxes must go toward correcting your horrible crimes against the planet. And it’s not fascist, because it makes liberals feel superior to everybody else.

You can smoke as much weed as you want in Seattle, but you’ll get fined if you throw away any of the resulting Taco Bell. That’s life in Utopia.

(Hat tip: MKH)

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Jim Treacher