It used to be that the Secret Service was the one federal agency everybody admired. Those guys willingly put their lives on the line to protect the second-most powerful man in the free world. How awesome is that?

Then came the stories about the Colombian hookers and the drunk driving and whatnot. Really bad PR. Morale among the palace guards took a nosedive right around… oh, 2009 or so. Weird, right?

Now the agency is having trouble finding replacements for the whoremongering drunks who keep leaving. Joel Gehrke, Washington Times:

Two lawmakers claimed Tuesday that the U.S. Secret Service may need to seek outside help to fulfill its mission because agents are leaving the agency faster than they can be replaced.

“USSS simply cannot hire enough personnel to keep pace with historic attrition rates,” House Oversight and Government Reform Committee chairman Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, and ranking Democrat Elijah Cummings of Maryland noted in a Tuesday letter to Secret Service director Joseph Clancy…

DHS attempts to bolster the number of special agents have so far failed, because the staffing increases were outstripped by the number of departures over the last two years. If the problem persists, Congress could mandate major overhauls of the Secret Service to ensure that it succeeds at its core “zero-fail mission” of protecting the president.

I guess I can’t blame anybody for leaving the Secret Service. It’s a thankless job to begin with, and it’ll be even worse with Hillary back in the White House. She was notoriously awful to them the last time. And in the worst-case scenario of President Trump, oy vey… I don’t think they could even get Hannity to do that job.

This is a perfect opportunity to do the right thing and disband the Secret Service. Guns are bad, right? Fewer guns = fewer gun crimes, right? Make the White House a gun-free zone.

For the children.