Well, I guess it’s all over. I held the line for as long as I could, but now it looks like Donald Trump is going to be the Republican nominee. It’s never fun to admit that defiance is futile, but it’s time for me to make amends. It’s time to build bridges. It’s time to reach out to all my Trump-supporting brothers and sisters. Here’s why I’m going back on my word and voting for Donald Trump in November, and why you should too:
Get this through your thick skulls, Trumpkins: #NeverTrump doesn’t mean #MaybeTrump. It doesn’t mean #NeverTrumpUnlessCruzDropsOut. It means just what it says. #NeverTrump.
Take a look at that first word, since it’s obviously giving you problems: Never. That means not ever. Not even once. Not in a million years. I will not vote for Trump, and I will not pretend it’s a good idea to vote for Trump. I dissent. I refuse. I will not do what you want me to do.
#NeverTrump isn’t a political movement. It’s a statement of principle. No wonder so many people can’t wrap their heads around it.
I voted for the Republicans when I thought they roughly aligned with my interests, or at least didn’t openly scorn and undermine them. That’s no longer true. So, I owe them no loyalty.
On the contrary, it’s the other way around. They should be thanking me for putting up with them for this long. Nothing but heartache, man, year after year. Defending Republicans. What a waste of time.
I didn’t make this mess, and I’m not cleaning it up. You geniuses are on your own. Have fun coming up with pathetic excuses for what’s going to happen in November. Hillary Clinton is the second-worst presidential candidate in American history, but fortunately for her, she’s going up against #1.
P.S. Jamie Weinstein: “In a White House race between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, I’d prefer Clinton, just as I’d prefer Malaria to Ebola.”
P.P.S. I’m glad to have found a point of agreement with Mr. Trump.