I’m Offended That Native Americans Aren’t Offended By The NFL’s Washington [RACIAL SLUR] Team

White people in the United States have a lot to answer for: Slavery. Capitalism. Global warming. Fuller House. But among the ills inflicted on America by the pasty plague of white folks, the worst crime of all is the name of Washington, DC’s professional football team. It’s so horribly offensive that I can’t even allow myself to type it out. Even thinking about it triggers me. I’ll just call them the Washington R-words.

The name of that football team is an outrage, which is why I’m so outraged that most Native Americans aren’t outraged. Christian Datoc reports:

In a shocking turn of events, a new Washington Post poll claims that 9 out of 10 Native Americans are not offended by the Washington [R-words]’ team name.

The poll surveyed 504 Native Americans in every state and the District across a five-month period ending in April and found that responses to the issue “were broadly consistent regardless of age, income, education, political party or proximity to reservations.”

In other words, 90% of Native Americans don’t really give a flying tomahawk about the Washington R-words. That might seem like a lot to you, but this is the white man’s math and can be safely disregarded.

Clearly, these poor oppressed victims simply don’t know what’s good for them. Fortunately, they’re well represented by people like Jamil Smith of MTV, um, News:

The name of Washington's NFL team is a slur. If American Indians aren't offended by it, it doesn't change that fact. https://t.co/sQH38uRGHa

— Jamil Smith (@JamilSmith) May 19, 2016

Who knows more about the Native American experience in 2016 than a Brooklynite who works in media?

You might call Smith’s assertion “condescending” and “paternalistic” and “not really his place to say.” But then, you’re white, aren’t you? If not, you’re a conservative, which is the same thing.

It doesn’t matter how many Native Americans think they have better things to worry about than the name of a sports team. We don’t have better things to worry about. This is about us!

Change the name, Dan Snyder. Heap big racist.